THURSDAY

1. Stephen Hawking says he does not understand women. I understand women. This is why I don't get married.

2. I wonder if they have a Nobel Prize for misogyny.

3. I also wonder if Rick Santorum and his wife ever did anal.

4. Right now, there is some wise guy combing through Rick's garbage looking for signs of santorum.

5. Google "santorum." Most of you already have, but there might be two people left in the whole country who haven't.

6. The only good Star Trek movie was Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan. That shit was so good that they will probably find a way to bring Khan back to life like they did with Spock.

7. The US decides to ban Iranian oil because we don't need their stinking gas. Meanwhile, other countries will buy the same oil and sell it to us at a higher price. Brilliant motherfuckers running US foreign policy.

8. Keith Olbermann is pissing off the bosses at Current TV now. First, ESPN hated him. Then, MSNBC fired his ass. Now, it is Current TV. Either KO is the journalistic equivalent of Steve Jobs, or he is just one colossal asshole.

9. Why can't they pay me to be an asshole on TV? I would do it for half what they are paying Olbermann. Plus, I like corporations.

10. Here's the deal on tablets. They suck. Granted, they sell a lot of iPads, but those Apple cult members would buy dogshit if it carried the Apple logo. Outside of that cult, nobody cares about owning a tablet. Computers are here to stay. The laptop is forever.

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