MONDAY

1. Leftards claim that the GOP Congress is cock blocking Obama. Now we know that Obama wants to put his cock in us. Brilliant.



2. In a contest between Obama and Ron Paul, hardcore War Party Republicans want Obama to win. You are either War or Antiwar. Democrat and Republican labels don't matter anymore.

3. Iran is feeling the cock now. They are trying to clench off which we all know is an act of war.

4. I used to think the U-Man's conspiracy theories about FEMA camps were just a load of crap. Now, I'm starting to think he is right.

5. They could put concertina wire around Zuccotti Park and have their first FEMA camp.

6. If Newt ever wanted to go negative on Romney, he needs to pull out those Magic Mormon Underwear ads.

7. I am totally broke up over Russell Brand giving the heave ho to Katy Perry. He will only take $20 million of her cash and wind up with an even hotter babe. Meanwhile, guys like me have to work and ogle chicks at Hooters. Life is not fair.

8. My goal in 2012 is to pull a Kardashian and become famous just for being famous. I'm not sure how I will pull that off. I suspect I may need the help of Donald Trump.

9. It is said that voters hate negative ads. But negative ads work. It's sort of like a man who does not want to discover that his wife is cheating on him. But if she is, he wants to know.

10. Greek tax collectors go on strike. In this rare instance, I am pro-labor union.

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