[SOC]

I am learning a valuable lesson right now. This lesson has to do with values and association. More specifically, it has to do with whether or not a militant atheist and a devout Christian could ever be married. I think the answer is fairly obvious.

On Facebook, I noticed a lot of libertarians also have libertarian spouses. I don't think this is coincidental. Like with the Christian and the atheist example I gave, I don't see how a libertarian and a statist could make it.

If there is a key to a successful relationship, I think it lies in having shared values. All my relationships with women have been failures, and I realize that none of the women I dated shared my values. I basically kept my mouth shut until I had enough and said fuck it.

I can be friends with people of different backgrounds and persuasions. I am friends with many theists and statists. I am also friends with people who don't give a fuck about any of those things. It is not really an issue because we find something in common in other areas whether it is merely an interest in politics or philosophy or because we are coworkers or like sports. I find it extremely easy to make friends with just about anyone. The same is not true with my relationships with women or my family.

I see our relationships as occupying an inner circle and an outer circle. Most people have a large inner circle and a small outer circle. My situation is the opposite. My inner circle is very small while my outer circle is vast. I have 5000+ Facebook friends, am very popular at work, but I eat dinner alone and sleep on the couch. I just broke up with my girlfriend, and I don't even talk about it because it is just damn embarrassing at this point. When you realize that the two of you have so little in common that you can't even have a conversation anymore, the relationship is over.

I have never had a meaningful romantic relationship in my life. I can't identify a single woman that I have ever dated that I can say has had a positive or memorable impact on my life. The result of every break up I have ever had has been a dramatic improvement in my life and my mindset. I have never dated a single woman who made me a better person.

I don't know what all my ex-girlfriends think of me since there is no one to conduct an exit interview. I suppose I am hated or at least forgotten. I just never talk to them or run into them. I did run into one of them at the bookstore, and she gave me the hint that she'd like another spin on the merry-go-round. I turned her down.

What I realize is that the reason things don't work out for me in this area is because I date women who don't share my values. All of the conflicts revolve around these differing values. No two people are going to be exactly alike, but there needs to be a large amount of common ground in order to make joint decisions. I am simply an uncommon individual.

Some women may not necessarily share the same values as you, but they are at least supportive of you and what you do. Unfortunately, I see these women as being about as useful as picture frames. This would be marrying a Filipino and making her your glorified housemaid. I have never been interested in this type of relationship. It goes completely against my values.

What I want in a relationship is clear to me now. I want to be with a woman who shares interests with me. I want to date a woman who is a libertarian and an atheist. I want to be able to have an intelligent conversation with her instead of listening to her bitch about problems and money. If there is one thing all my ex-girlfriends have in common, it is that they are all incredibly stupid and boring. Imagine this conversation:

MAN: We have discovered something vital in the laboratory. It is a way to turn solar energy into a liquid fuel to be used in cars. This process can be done at a fraction of the cost of what it takes to refine oil into gasoline.

WOMAN: OK, whatever. Can I borrow some cash to fill up my car?

Now, I don't have anything to share that is as groundbreaking as a new clean fuel that will change the world. But that second line is verbatim from a conversation with an ex-girlfriend. Who wants to be with someone like this?

Being with these stupid worthless woman is a living death. I have learned something from the Objectivists, and it is to not waste your life on a woman that doesn't share your values. This same principle extends to family members.

The Objectivists believe in the trader principle when it comes to personal relationships. This means giving value for value. Familial relationships rarely follow this model. They are usually lopsided since family members rarely share the same values. It would be like a guy with real money trying to make exchanges with people who have Monopoly money. The funny thing is when those with the Monopoly money refuse to take their own money in trade.

I asked my ex-girlfriend why she dated me, and she told me that I kept a job and always worked. I didn't drink, do drugs, or any of that shit. I paid my bills and gave no drama. I believed in fidelity. When I asked myself why I was dating her, the answer was pretty clear to me. There was no reason. I dated her because there was no one else. She had none of the values I had. I got nothing out of the relationship except her indifference.

I have evolved into my present viewpoint in this matter. Without values, there is no meaning to a relationship. There is no point in dating someone who isn't simpatico with you. When you are with the right woman, you should feel like a very lucky man to have found someone like her. I have never found a woman like this. I don't even know a woman like this. I doubt I ever will.

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