The North Face Sucks!

Actually, I don't know if North Face apparel sucks or not. I am not a wear tester, and I have never tried out any of their gear. In fact, I have never owned a single item from the North Face. I couldn't tell you a damn thing about any of their shit. This is more about the brand and the social impact of that brand than the actual products.

My first experience with North Face Hatred or NFH began with the daughter of one of the women I dated. She was in elementary school at the time and making comments about a clique at her school. This clique was known simply as "the North Face." I had no clue what she was talking about. I had seen the brand before, but I never considered it from any social standpoint. To me, it was just another brand like Patagonia or Lands' End or L.L. Bean. But this clique of snobby girls wore a sort of uniform to distinguish themselves from the others, and this was the North Face jacket--a piece of trendy apparel. My girlfriend's daughter then proceeded to show me pictures from her school annual of these snobby girls all wearing the same branded jacket. I had a good laugh over that.

In my day, it was all about sneakers. You wanted to be wearing Nike sneakers and the most coveted sneakers of all were the Air Jordans. That trend continues to this day with those shoes still being top sellers. I feel like I am in a time warp when I step into a Foot Locker at the mall as the sneakers seem to have changed little over the years. The same sort of hype surrounds products from Apple as their products have a certain coolness factor to them. The ridiculousness of it all comes from the fact that these products are all mass produced, and the only significant difference between them is the brand. You aren't buying greater quality so much as a greater signifier.

I am as brand conscious as the next consumer, but this is because I don't want to waste my dough on junk. I find that the brands I like have a certain utilitarian quality to them. For instance, I am a very loyal consumer of Timex watches. They aren't flashy or fancy. They are basic. But they are cheap, and they work. I'm sold. I see ads for much better watches that look way cooler than my Timex. But I never buy them. The same thing goes with computers. I'm going to get some Japanese made Windows machine forever. This is because the Macbook Pro costs way too much especially when you consider all I do is write blog posts, make crappy art, and surf the internet.

I did some comparison shopping, and your standard issue North Face fleece jacket costs $165. So, I went over to the Patagonia website to see what their prices were for a similar fleece jacket. It was $179. Then, I went to Lands' End. I couldn't find a fleece jacket that was identical, so I just went with the most expensive one they offered. It was $79.50. LL Bean's jacket was $55.20. Columbia's jacket was $180. Walmart offers a camo fleece jacket for $75. Or you can shell out $20 for some no brand jacket that accomplishes the same job. This is because fleece is dirt cheap. The same material that is in the cheapie Walmart jacket is virtually identical to the same shit in a name brand jacket.

The reason you see such price differences for the same product is because of branding and targeted demographics. With the North Face, you could see where some climber taking on Denali might care about having quality gear. But why does a schoolkid care about having a North Face jacket? It is for the same reason that peacocks grow those outrageous tails that would make them chicken dinner in the wild. They can afford to blow it.

I'd like to say adults are immune to this, but they aren't. I routinely see snooty housewives wearing those North Face jackets while driving big ass SUVs with a Mercedes emblem on them. I know they aren't mountain climbing or hitting the 4WD switch in the SUV. These are the new status symbols while in a different time it would be a Mercedes sedan and a fur coat. The most nauseating thing I saw was the mother-daughter combo wearing their respective North Face jackets.

The hip hop gang gets in on the act as well. North Face is joining other luxury brands as something for rappers to exploit. It is for this reason that I no longer care to wear anything made by Nike or Timberland. North Face will join the same pile of clown wear.



The NFH is palpable especially among hipsters. The backlash against the brand inspired a parody brand called the "South Butt" that enraged the North Face prompting them to file a lawsuit against the South Butt. The two companies made a settlement, and the South Butt is now off the market. I'm not sure what the North Face was afraid of, but they clearly didn't want their coolness factor threatened with the parody. I also see no difference in the products. That whole episode shows the absurdity of the whole branding phenomenon.

Many companies today are nothing but a brand. The manufacturing is outsourced overseas while the product design and marketing happens back here in the states. The irony of it all is that most of it is identical, overpriced, and worn by people who are only outdoors during the walk between their cars and the front doors of their homes, workplaces, or whatever shop they are going into.

When I see brands, I ask myself what the story is behind that brand. I picked this wisdom up from Seth Godin, the high priest of marketing. Basically, a brand tells a story which is why people buy that brand. They want the brand that best reflects who they are. Hipsters are no different than North Face yuppie scum in this regard as the hipsters opt for Dickies workpants, trucker's hats, and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. The hipsters want to tell a different story about themselves. The irony is that others latch on to this hipster trendsetting which gives birth to brands like Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, and others where people buy jeans that are already fucked up.

I find myself in the middle of these two groups. I have a certain hipster fondness for Carhartt and Dickies, but I also like New Balance and Under Armour. I have two fleece jackets. One is made by Izod and cost $100. The other is a generic item from Walmart that cost less than $20. Both were gifts, and I wear the cheap one more than the expensive one. I find the cheap one feels better because it isn't as heavy which is great for the walk from the car to the front door of wherever. I don't really like either one of them, but I am too cheap to replace them. The bottom line is that I'm not out to tell a story with what I wear. I just want value for the dollar which is what a good brand should be about.

As far as the actual North Face gear goes, it seems to get high marks from the outdoor crowd who actually use the stuff for climbing, hiking, camping, and trail running. I'm not into those activities, so I don't need to buy that gear. But when those people wear North Face apparel, they tell a different story than the SUV driving snobby mom at the mall drinking her Starbucks. You will notice that similar brands like Patagonia, Columbia, and Mountain Hard Wear don't engage in that same storytelling. One day, the North Face will lose that story, and people will shun that brand. Even the diehards will drop it because wearing that gear will be seen as embarrassing. The brand may be resurrected by some future hipsters in much the same way that Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers stay in production. Or it may just disappear. Not all stories have happy endings. The way the North Face story is going, it won't have a happy ending either.



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Wilderness chic

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