Q & A

Q: Have you gone schizoid?

A: I got this one from my boss yesterday in response to the RTOVS I posted Saturday. Reading back on that one, I could see where one would draw the conclusion that I have lost my fucking mind.

The reason for that post is that I felt a bit giddy about projects that I am working on, and this spilled over into the blog. This goes against my rule to keep projects secret until they are completed. The reason for this rule is because I hear about people's ambitious plans to do x, y, and z except that x, y, and z don't happen. The result is that you look like some daydreaming ass. In my case, I shared the enthusiasm without sharing what my projects are.

The other aspect is that I have become more cognizant of my impending death. I am not ill at the moment, and I am caught up on my massive gambling debts with Don Giovanni. But as I get older, I realize the clock is running out. I am making the regrets now that I will look on in the future and hate. This realization makes me want to work more but also risk more and be more candid in my thoughts. The fact is that none of us gets out of here alive, so you need to live while you are alive.

I feel a certain new enthusiasm for life, and I have a ton of writing projects that are not blog related that I want to get done. But I also want to do new things here at the C-blog as well. I am exploring new subjects while going back to ideas I abandoned at one time. I don't know what the finished product will be on any of these projects. But I feel the dice in my hand, and I think I should roll them and see what happens. If you see some crazy new shit here, you will know what I was talking about. If nothing, then you will know I was full of shit and just daydreaming.

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