I Am All I Have

I'm feeling some anguish now over something I cannot write about here. I have a story, but I keep it to myself. I do this because I don't want to be mean to someone.

I hurt inside because I cared deeply for someone who I believe now never gave a damn for me. It is tough to face that. You think someone loves you, but they don't.

I am alone. I live alone. I write alone. I am all I have.

I don't really know what to do anymore. I don't even know what to think of that person. I want to believe that she loved me.

It is tough feeling this way. It is hard. You want to move on and maybe find someone else. But I think they are all like her. Their love is counterfeit. It is ephemeral and will not last. They only use you. In the end, I am all I have.

I have met true friends in my life. I have never been with a true woman.

I don't know what to say. I will tell her story eventually. I don't tell it because I want to think it hasn't ended yet. I want to believe that she will redeem herself. I want to believe that she will see and understand why I did what I did. I want to forgive her. I want her to forgive me.

She probably will never speak to me again. Her anger and shame are probably too great to overcome. I will be alone.

I am all I have.

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