Are Married People Happier Than Single People?

If you Google this question, you will have your answer. Study after study shows that married people on average are happier than single people. Married people on average show higher levels of wealth and health and lower levels of mortality than their single counterparts. Based on this info alone, you should go out and just get hitched. Yet, something seems funny about those numbers.

It makes sense that married people experience greater wealth. If you are married, you save a bit more money because you are splitting the housing and utility costs between two incomes. Married people with children are more likely to seek promotions and job opportunities as they fight to be better providers. And they cut back on bad habits like drinking and heroin abuse because they have someone else to nag the shit out of them. Of course, these are all benefits you can enjoy by joining the military or hiring a personal trainer and getting a roommate.

The fact is that the studies also report that most married people return to the same level of happiness they report having while they were single. On a subjective side, marriage doesn't make much difference. You get the "honeymoon blip" soon after nuptials, but this seems to decline after just six months. This is the hedonic treadmill in action.

Married couples also report more sex than their single counterparts. This also makes sense since married people can skip the drinks at the bar and the romantic dinner and head straight to the fucking. Of course, with kids, this probably changes dramatically. The fact that so many married people choose to cheat seems to indicate that the sex lives of married people are not nearly as satisfying as they claim. I detect some bullshit on these stats. Without monitoring equipment, you are taking their word for it.

I think all of it comes back to character. A guy that likes to drink and party is going to do better to settle down with a nagging traditional wife that doesn't drink and party. With that said, that nagging traditional wife would be much better off not being with the guy who likes to drink and party. She would be better off being with a guy like me who is like Ted Nugent--nutty as hell but sober. You get the excitement without the drunk driving and the spousal abuse.

Marriage is just like mergers and acquisitions. If a larger more established company takes over a smaller company, you can bet your sweet life there will be major changes for the smaller company that they probably won't like. If a successful company merges with a bankrupted company, it is great for the bankrupt company but not so great for the successful company. If two companies have an equal merger, it generally benefits both unless you are talking AOL Time Warner. Then, it turns out to be a bad deal.

With marriage, a person with poor habits will benefit from being with someone with good habits. Two people with equally good habits should make a pretty good run. Two people with disastrous habits will explode from being together. You are only as good as the components.

What is the take away from this? Work on your habits. Be healthy. Don't abuse alcohol and drugs. Work and pay your bills. Spend less than you earn. And don't ever get involved with someone who doesn't do the same things. If you have your shit together, the worst thing you can do for yourself is get involved with someone who doesn't have their shit together.

I think the reason so many single people perform poorly on those surveys is because it is overly weighted by people with fucked up habits. No woman wants to marry a drunk fucking loser. So, if you are someone wanting to avoid a shitty deal on marriage, you get lumped in with the folks who are a shitty deal in marriage.

This is primarily the reason I don't want to get married. All of the women I date have some kind of character issue. Mostly, they are bad with money. Considering that money issues are the number one reason for divorce, this makes sense. The spendthrifts are going to be an overwhelmingly large percentage of the dating population. At my age, you are picking through other people's garbage to find a mate.

This leads to another question. Can you be happy as a single? Absolutely. I see George Clooney as a happy guy even if he has to go stag to some awards shows. I owe that guy because he has shown me a better way.

If you meet the right one, it should be a no-brainer. There should be no question or doubts about it. I have never ever met a woman I could say that about. But I have met the wives of other men I could say that about without hesitation. Those are the keepers, and they've been taken. All that is left is the garbage.

Only 1 in 6 men who reach 40 without having married go on to marry. I know I'm not going to do it. It isn't because I lack maturity or have some psychological bullshit hangup. When I explain the women I date, everyone agrees that I made the right call. They always say the same thing to me. You need to find a good woman. There are none. Trust me, I have dated plenty. I am a complete no-brainer to the women and the pressure to marry happens fairly quickly. As for me, all I see is personal ruination by getting hitched to these bad women. Usually, I try to encourage them to shape up. They don't nag me. I nag them. Women don't like to be nagged, so the relationship ends.

I'm not wasting any more energy on this project. I would have better luck with that cold fusion project. I'm a bachelor, and that's all there is to it. I don't play the lottery or gamble, but I never turn down free money either. If it happens, fine. But my chips are off the table from now on. I've lost interest. The motto is "hit it and quit it."

Posted in: