Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Why I Go Public

I have a habit which may or may not necessarily be bad. But it is one I fall into again and again. When people fuck me over, I let the world know about it.

All of this began the day I went down to get in my car to go to work only to see that it was gone. Someone had stolen my car. It was later recovered, and I know who did it. It was an ex-girlfriend. She stole it and wrecked it.

This incident came after a lifetime of fuckovers from people close to me. I was just mystified as to why this had happened. I ended up blaming myself.

My problem is that I am nice to people. This is stupid. When you start being nice to people, they get greedy or whatnot and have to stick it to you. They have to do this. Not everyone is like this. If they were, I would have no friends.

I learned that you teach people how you want to be treated. If you tolerate bullshit, you will get plenty of it. You have to draw the line somewhere.

I don't go around beating the shit out of people especially when they are women. This is illegal. What I do is different. When someone does me wrong, I tell them. I ask that they apologize. I try to do this privately. But they never take me up on this. So, I go public. For some strange reason, this works. When people have their deeds exposed to the light of day, they change. It also changes me. I don't feel like the victim anymore.

So far, I am 3-0 on this. I got my apologies. No one is ever going to get away with it with me. I don't punish. I don't seek revenge. I don't try and trash them or reveal intimate details. All of this goes against what I believe in. I simply say what they did.

I am very fair about this. They are welcome to rebut anything I say. They can make their case in this court of public opinion. They rarely do. In the long run, they suffer for their misdeeds.

I am quick to apologize and make amends for my bad actions. I am also open about not being perfect. No one is. When you have a cokehead or an adulterer for President, you quit feeling bad about yourself. I am better than those men.

People try and say that I am being nasty and underhanded with this. No, I am not. The alternative is to just go along with letting people treat me like shit and keep it "private." Fuck that. If you are shameless enough to do it, then you are quite able to handle the consequences of those actions.

I believe in the New York Times test. Don't do anything that you would be ashamed to see on the front page of the NYT. This means not stealing or using people or whatnot.

I also take my own medicine. My flaws are here for everyone to read about. The people in my life are quite candid with me, and I encourage this. I never shoot the messenger. I get more shit talked about me everyday than any person I know. But people do it to my face, and I laugh about it. I am secure in myself enough to not ever let what someone says about me or think about me bother me.

So, there you have it. This is why I go public.

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