How to Be Happy

Everybody wants to be happy. People will differ on how to achieve this happiness, but everyone wishes to be happy. It is the end and purpose for everything we do.

I am happy. When I tell people this, they do not believe me. This is because they believe in a conception of happiness that is incorrect and/or have been frustrated in their attempts to find happiness. So, I'm going to put it down in writing once and for all, so that everyone can be happy just like me. Our first stop is defining happiness.

The Definition of Happiness
Happiness is not a feeling. That is the first thing that needs to be addressed. It is accompanied by good feelings, but happiness itself is not a good feeling. If good feelings were all that happiness was, then crackheads, cokeheads, dopeheads, drunks, and idiots in love should be the happiest people on the planet. Yet, I don't think anyone would consider these people to be happy.

The reason we don't consider these people to be happy despite their good feelings is because they lack an objective foundation of wellbeing. The good feelings we have must also correspond in some way to the reality in which we live.

On the other hand, would we consider rich people to be happy? Clearly, an abundance of material possessions must confer some objective measure of wellbeing. Then again, Howard Hughes was the richest man in the world, but I doubt he was happy in those hotel rooms wearing Kleenex boxes for shoes and urinating in milk bottles.

Happiness is an elusive thing to define. My definition of happiness derives from Aristotle, but I adapt and update it for our modern times. But essentially, my definition and Aristotle's definition of happiness is the same. Happiness is the fulfillment of rational activity.

At this point, you are probably scratching your head. I told you it was an elusive thing to understand. But that's why the essay is not ending here. Continue reading, and you will understand this concept a lot better.

It will help to show what happiness is not and where it cannot be found. Here is a list of where you will not find happiness:

1. Pleasure.
As I have already touched upon, pleasure does not bring happiness. If it did, pharmacists would be our saviors. The pleasures of drugs, sex, or what have you can give you a pleasant life and many people accept this as a subsitute for happiness. But we consider these people to be losers, idiots, or what have you. So, why doesn't it make sense to smoke crack? Because smoking crack is irrational. It takes you out of life. It is a divorce from the real world.

Drug addicts are miserable people. It really makes no sense since drugs are supposed to make you feel good. Yet, these people are not happy at all.

2. The Simple Life
Other people want to follow the flip side of this argument and claim that the key is to possess a life free from pain. These are the people who withdraw from life as much as possible. They want a simple life free from stress and worry maybe out in the country. This seems like a laudable goal until you realize that it is an impossible goal. I've lived such a life of retreat, and it only creates paranoia and irritation. For instance, city dwellers live with a constant stream of noise outside such that they couldn't get to sleep without it. Yet, I have visitors who come over who get pissed about the old man downstairs that plays his TV a little too loud. I never notice it myself.

We all know people like this who are disturbed by every little thing. For some reason, human beings adjust either upwards or downwards to the circumstances they find themselves in. An easy life creates softness which increases pain. A hard life creates resilience which increases pleasure. This is why people who exercise report feeling great while non-exercisers like myself feel like crap all the time. The result is that the simple life not only does not deliver happiness, but it also diminishes pleasure.

3. Religion.
Religion is also a dead end. This is because it isn't real. A religious person is someone who lives for a purpose that simply does not exist. To this extent, religious people and drug users are not any different from each other. In fact, the drug user may be a bit more rational than your typical fundamentalist because he still retains some logical faculty even if it is pointed in the wrong direction. I'd rather deal with a drunk than a member of al-Qaeda.

4. A Cause Greater Than Yourself.
This is along the same lines as religion except it is more secular in nature. These people believe that happiness lies in being selfless and sacrificing for the greater good. This is great rhetoric for politicians wanting young soldiers to go die in a fruitless war overseas that will accomplish nothing. We can admire certain aspects of these people, but we all harbor the suspicion that they are unwitting dupes. They do all the right things for the wrong reasons. And to question their purpose is akin to blasphemy. But these people are not happy. Ask a typical soldier in Iraq right now if he is happy, and I think the answer will be that he is not. His morale will be low. Why? Because he fights for no purpose. Yet, many World War II vets report a great deal of happiness during their time in the war despite the bloodshed and hardship. That is because they were individuals fighting for their own good against tyranny.

5. Other People.
Living for other people is also along the same lines as living for a cause greater than yourself. These are mothers, fathers, and lovers who sacrifice themselves for the ones they care about. I've done this, and I can tell you that it is utter misery. There is no happiness in altruism. It only leads to bitterness.

You cannot find happiness in other people. The belief is that if you make other people happy then you will make yourself happy. This is madness. You learn quickly how unsatisfied people are, and how eager they are to be parasites. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't have people in your life. People are essential to happiness but only as a means to happiness.

6. Riches and Fame.
This is the final failed option in finding happiness. Getting rich or finding fame and social status seem like the route to happiness, but for some reason, money doesn't seem to pull it off. It is a cliche in our culture that money can't buy happiness. Of course, it makes misery a little more bearable.

All of these things I have listed are not sufficient in and of themselves for happiness nor in combination. For instance, you can have health, wealth, a loving famly, the house in the suburbs, the white picket fence, or what have you and still not be happy. Some people think this checklist view of happiness is the correct way to go, but it isn't.

So, what is happiness and where does it come from?

HERE IS WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR--> THE BIG "SECRET"
I've already defined happiness as the fulfillment of rational activity. It's not like you didn't already have it. But I'll put it in a different way. I am happy right now as I write this because I enjoy writing. It is what I am good at. And if I have done my job well, you have come to this point with breathless anticipation of the secret I am about to give you. So, here it is. You are already happy.

By now, you feel tricked, but there is no trick. By reading this essay, you engaged in rational activity. Now, that it has ended, you have found happiness. You learned things you did not know before. You grew in knowledge.

Happiness is a process. It never ends. When you engage in rational activity, you experience flourishing in your life. You feel an exhiliration as you do things and complete tasks. The more you do the better you feel. The only breaks come when you have to sleep or eat food.

A more basic answer is to say happiness is workaholism. This isn't exactly correct since you can experience the same thing from playing a videogame. But being a workaholic is more sustainable than playing videogames all day.

When you do something well, you get a rush from it. I don't know why this is, but it is what separates us from the lower animals. Human beings have an insatiable need to build things, discover things, and learn new skills. Money, friends, or what have you are means to doing these things. This is why these things are important but are never a subsitute for happiness.

A happy person is a busy person. He is a productive person. He does things and accomplishes things. He has a wide range of interests. He also possesses the things he needs to achieve his ends which usually were the fruit of some previous end. For instance, this essay is the fruit of years of reading and study on the subject.

You can be happy. The answer lies in those rational activities that you already love doing. Things like goofing off, watching TV, or going on vacation are good for recharging the batteries. But you can't make a lifestyle out of it. This is why Aristotle stressed balance. All things in moderation.

Being happy is an art and a skill. It takes practice to pull it off, but it can be done because I do it everyday. There are setbacks but overcoming setbacks is also part of the activity. In fact, all work boils down to overcoming resistance. This is why I am able to shake off so much shit that happens to me.

Most of these ideas come directly from Aristotle, but I don't think he had it all worked out. There have been many advances in knowledge since his time, and I don't think Aristotle gave much thought to the role that freedom plays in happiness. But he had the kernel of truth way back then. This isn't to say that people haven't been happy. Most people experience happiness accidentally. What Aristotle did is take the haphazardness out of it.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION
To be happy, I recommend this approach. Go to Wal-Mart or Office Depot and buy yourself a notebook that is fairly rugged. It has to last a long time because you're going to carry it the rest of your life. In this book, write down every damn thing you would like to read, learn, do, or what have you with the rest of your life. Don't plan it out. This isn't a gameplan. It is merely a book of lists. It should be as expansive as it can possibly be. Don't think about whether you will live long enough to do it all. Pretend you have 1000 years to live and do everything you'd like to do. The result is a book of options that will give you a limitless supply of goals to tackle. This is what Leonardo da Vinci did with his notebooks, and he never got it all done. But I think he was pretty happy during his life. You will be, too.

Remember that happiness is a process. You won't find happiness when you get something done. Most projects follow a pattern of a beginning, a middle, and an end just like a good movie or fantastic sex. When it is really good, you don't want it to end. This is how I felt when I was in college. But I realized after I graduated that I never had to stop learning.

Another thing to remember about happiness is that it leads to a lot of busyness and can get messy sometimes. This is directly opposed to people who propose living the simple life. The simple life is boring. It may be attractive initially, but you will grow tired of it soon.

If you do everything right, you will sense a feeling of exhiliration. You will hate going to bed, and you will love getting up everyday. You will skip sleep to do extra work on your projects. I know because I do this. You may even start drinking coffee in the afternoon for that extra kick.

You can take it too far. This results in unnecessary adversity like being unable to find something on an uncluttered desk because you were too busy to clean up behind yourself. This happens to me a lot.

What does a happy person look like? From history, I think the happiest people were folks like Aristotle himself who pursued various fields of study, geniuses of the Renaissance like Leonardo, folks like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, and inventors like Thomas Edison and entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs.

Aristotle said that you couldn't call a person happy until the end of his life. I disagree on this. I think you can be happy at any point in your life. On the other hand, you can't say a person lived a full life until the end of their lives. It may be a minor distinction, but I think it matters. I don't worry about living a full life. I just spend my time doing shit now.

Personal Reflections
There have been two periods in my life when I was happy. The first period was an accident. My old man fired me from the family business after I graduated from high school, and I took a job stacking hay for a feed merchant here in Camden. I had fallen away from my religion, and I worked my ass off. I lost a lot of weight and was in the best shape of my life as a result. The labor was brutal, but it was seven months of bliss for me. I couldn't explain why during that time, but I realize now why I was happy. I was free to do my own thing. I labored under neither guilt nor oppression. I had no intentions of going to college, but I changed my mind. My boss was surprised because he didn't think I could even read. He was a real cocksucker.

I lost my happiness when I returned to working for my dad and my Christian faith. I knew I had been happy, but it was gone. I couldn't explain why this was. I still had my moments of bliss studying and working, but I was always dissatisfied. The primary reason is because I became religious again.

I also dated some chicks, and I couldn't help but notice how my happiness vanished because of them. I have found pleasure with women but not happiness. I can confidently say today that love and happiness do not intersect at any point.

My present period of happiness began much the same way my first period of happiness began. I became estranged from my mother and father, embraced atheism and libertarian politics, and threw myself into my work and projects. I have been happy ever since. The only real threat to my wellbeing has come from romance. Women are misery.

To me, the ideal man is the Renaissance Man. I aspire to be a man of wide learning, various skills, and multiple endeavors. History shows us that Aristotle's influence always leads to flourishing. Aristotle influenced Shakespeare. Aristotle was the imeptus for the Renaissance. And I think Aristotle and his pupils are the reason we have the scientific, cultural, and technical progress we see today.

This is happiness. Be rational. Work. Enjoy pleasures in moderation. Learn that virtue is the midpoint between excess and deficiency. Learn to laugh. Don't take yourself too seriously. Pursue the things you love with selfishness, but respect others along the way. This is what I do. I am not perfect at all of these things, and I get into scrapes. But I also get out of them. I have a great life. I hope you have a great life, too.

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