Sunday, July 29, 2007

Charlie's Marriage Advice

FOR THE LADIES
You want to marry as often as you can. Find a man with some money and date him for about three months. Then, throw an ultimatum on his ass. Pull that sucker in and lock him down. After you are married, tell him he needs to work more and make that paper. While he is working, you can be screwing around with other guys and setting up Sucker Number Two. Then, divorce Sucker Number One and take half of his shit you didn't spend during the marriage. Repeat until you turn 40 and your breasts start to sag. When that happens, stay with that last guy you married or gamble on plastic surgery.

FOR THE MEN
Never get married. Do whatever it takes, but don't ever walk down that aisle. It is a trap, fellahs. You will not find happiness when the ring goes on your finger. And don't ever tell yourself that this woman is different. She isn't. And if she gives you an ultimatum, tell her to step. There are other fishes in the sea.

Half of all marriages end in divorce. Marriage is betting half your shit on the flip of a coin. Men have nothing to gain. Women have nothing to lose.

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