Monday, October 31, 2011

[SOC]

I can feel the vultures circling. Apparently, it is getting out that I am single. I have been in total bachelor mode since May, and I have used the time well to work on projects and my fitness. I haven't had a single date since that time, and I have actually labored to keep it that way. My life since May has been monastic except for Friday nights at Hooters where I ogle ass I am never going to get. Last Friday, I passed on Hooters and went home for some rest. I am ending my Hooters habit in favor of doing the things that really matter to me.

This is the longest I have been like this in the last five years or so. Either I had a girlfriend or a string of dates. But I wanted to be where I am now for awhile. I felt like I was drowning in a dating abyss, and I needed some air.

I don't think I want to go back to all that bullshit. Naturally, this brings up accusations of being homosexual or the specter of celibacy. The conventional wisdom is that there must be something wrong with a man if he's not plowing some chick somewhere. But I don't care. I don't want to go back to that crap. That is the pure fucking truth there.

My life goes better without a chick in it. I have more money, more time, and more enjoyment. I get in better shape. I write more. I enjoy being at work more. I feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted off of me. Why would I want to go back to some woman's bullshit?

I like this monastic existence. The vultures can circle, but I am going to ignore them. Love is such a crock of shit that I just don't want that toxic garbage in my life anymore. It feels like being liberated from some bad addiction. And I'm too busy to feel lonely. I have so much I want to do, and I have the freedom to do those things now. I am staying in this state of being for as long as I can.

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