Plan B for Bachelorhood

People ask me all the time. Are you a confirmed bachelor? My answer is always the same. "Not exactly."

What I want is what I call Plan A. Plan A is a family, and I don't mean Leave It To Beaver. That is a fantasy. But I see family where both husband and wife work, share household chores, love each other, and raise the kids. There is no infidelity, wife beating, drug abuse, or kids turning into juvenile delinquents. Unfortunately, Plan A is a bit of a myth. This leaves me with Plan B.

Plan B is bachelorhood. It isn't the optimal choice, but it is the acceptable choice all things considered. Why crawl into misery? What have I to gain from throwing my life into the cesspool of another person's life? Who wants to share life with a fuck up?

This is Plan C. Plan C is what all of the women I have dated have wanted. Plan C is where the man works and pays the bills while the woman lies on her ass at home watching daytime television, loafing around town, shopping, and having a lover or a cocaine and gambling habit on the side. Then, the man gets derided for his "workaholic" ways. Naturally, the house is a wreck, and the woman gains fifty pounds while the kids flunk out of school.

Is it any wonder why men don't want to marry?

Plan B will always beat Plan C. As for Plan A, that is turning out to be a fantasy. There are some exceptional woman out there, but the key word is exceptional. Plan C is the norm. Women will do a Plan A head fake. But they want Plan C. And Plan C leads to Plan D--DIVORCE unless the man is just incredibly stupid. If he chooses to stay, he will get a mistress and start drinking more.

I'm on Plan B whether I like it or not. The answer is to start liking it.

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