1. I went to Taco Bell after work and ran into a friend. Ate two chicken tacos, a bean burrito, and a chicken quesadilla. Then, I had to take a massive shit. I saw God on that one. Then, on the way out of the store, I saw the Taco Bell chick sitting outside on the walk smoking a joint. TRUE SHIT.
2. Mark Halperin was suspended from MSNBC for calling Obama a "dick." I don't need to write a joke on this one.
3. A woman was tapped to head the IMF. This is because you can't rape someone with a vagina.
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