Thursday, August 16, 2007

Iran-Vick Affair? Michael Vick Sued for $63 Billion

It's certainly been a rough couple of months for Michael Vick. Indicted on felony charges relating to dogfighting and gambling. Endorsement contract suspended by Nike. And the NFL may soon ban him for a year.

But he now faces what may be his greatest challenge yet: he is being sued for $63,000,000,000.00. That's right. $63 billion!

Even worse, the lawsuit alleges that Vick is connected to both the Iranian government and Al Qaeda (but not, it appears, Kim Jong-il).

Now the good news for Vick: the lawsuit has been filed by a South Carolina inmate who contends that Vick, after pledging allegiance to Al Qaeda, stole his pit bulls, sold them on EBay, and then used the proceeds to buy missiles from Iran.

Makes sense to me.

You can read the entire frivolous complaint in PDF, and here's the story from Ian McCaleb of Fox News:

Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran," FOX News has learned.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over "theft and abuse of my animals" on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

Oh, by the way, it's not clear how Mr. Riches (fitting name) came up with $63 billion in damages. Maybe, like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers, he initially thought of $1 million but was talked into something more, well, evil.

Thanks to my new colleague at Mississippi College School of Law, Chris Lund, for the link.

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