MONDAY

1. Toyota does not buy my story about unintentional acceleration and the crash I had because of the presence of PBR cans and sent text messages during the time of the accident.

2. They should give me my own wilderness survival show. It would be way greater than Man vs. Wild. It would be called Neck Deep in Shit, and I would have to survive with only a knife and a zippo lighter. I would have to accomplish three tasks: kill an animal and eat it, build a shelter, and make moonshine. Yes, Bocephus will sing the theme song.



3. Imagine a country that segregates its citizens by race and routinely demolishes the homes of these "inferior" people and maims and kills them. This country exists today. It isn't Nazi Germany. It isn't South Africa. It isn't the Jim Crow South. Who could it be?



4. I have just been informed that I will no longer be welcome on MSM outlets because of my anti-semitic viewpoints.



5. Peter Graves is dead. That is a loss. Despite a large body of acting work, he will be remembered primarily as Captain Over in Airplane.

6. Uh oh!



7. Check out this anti-semitic blog.

8. Charlie Sheen pleads not guilty to everything and promises not to do it again. On the safe side, he should go ahead with the farewell episode of Two and a Half Men. Besides, the "half man" looks a bit full these days. The little bastard wasn't all that cute to begin with.

9. Will sexual tension derail Tiger at the Masters?

10. Oh, shit! Some Americans got killed by Mexican druglords. This changes everything. 18,000 Mexican deaths is a statistic. Two Americans is some serious shit. Something needs to be done. Unfortunately, it won't be ending the war on drugs.

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