[SOC] A Few Post-Christmas Thoughts

I had a good Christmas with my wife. We went to midnight Mass, and I think this was the first Christmas since childhood that I actually liked celebrating. I have always hated Christmas as an adult because of the commercialism. The merchants really ruined the holiday. My wife and the Catholic Church have done much to make me like the day again.

I am sad today because I have to go to work. I wish I could stay home with my wife and finish reading Life of Pi. But I have to do the grind. I will console myself with way too much coffee. I am also sad that I wasn't able to spend time with my new extended family because of my work. Some of us have to keep the world running for the rest.

I am also saddened by a friend from long ago who chose to end his life. I pray for his soul, and his tragedy has done more to me than he probably ever realized it would. It taught me a lesson. You can hate your sins, but you should never hate yourself. That is the mystery of the cross of Christ. That act displayed both mercy and justice. Your sins are an offense against God demanding a price be paid. But God loved us enough to pay it. And that salvation was not a mere declaration of debts paid but the opening of a door to a better destiny. The heretic said to go and "sin boldly." But Christ said to go and sin no more.

It is an awful thing to always look in the mirror and see nothing but total depravity staring you in the face. It is terrible to see in every good act some taint of evil and to add to it self-loathing. And it is an evil thing to always point out the failings in others and to never let them forget it. It is a feast of misery. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love forgives the wrongs done. And love forgets. I wish my departed friend had known these things, but I did not know them at the time. I only knew about being a wretch.

Anyway, I am off to work. Merry Christmas to you.

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