The Parasite Class, part 2

So hard on people that you need everyday. wow. open your eyes, look around. you need them.

This is a comment left on the first part of this series on the Parasite Class. Basically, the argument is this:

-Parasites exist.

-Existence implies necessity.

-Therefore, parasites are necessary.

The problem with this argument is obvious. It is the idea that existence implies necessity. A parasite is an organism that lives to the detriment of its host. A parasite is something that takes but gives nothing in return. When two organisms give something mutually beneficial, this is called symbiosis. An example would be the lichen that is a combination of a fungus and a plant. Another example would be the bacteria that live in our guts that help us to digest our food.

There are three categories of symbiosis:

-mutualism: both derive benefit

-commensalism: one derives benefit at no harm to the other

-parasitism: one derives benefit at the harm of another

Now, one of my wild and crazy ideas is to take biology and apply it to economics because I notice a lot of overlap in the strategies of nature and human action. A large organization is like a giant organism. All organizations are devoted to a single task. Here are the three I pick on the most and their purpose:

-government: preserve freedom and maintain justice

-university: promote learning and discovery

-corporation: earn a profit for owners and shareholders by satisfying customer demand

The value of any member to an organization must be tied to the purpose of that organization. Parasites do not serve the purpose. They detract from the purpose. Amass a large enough group of parasites, and the whole thing shuts down. Parasites are the enemy.

I was reminded of this recently while reading an article on Microsoft and Apple. Basically, Microsoft is losing its way as it rots from within from corporate bloat. Apple remains as nimble and as minimalistic as the products it makes. Microsoft has managers that fire everyone but themselves, so they end up with bosses who have no employees. This makes sense in a weird way because no boss will fire himself. The reality is that Microsoft is succumbing to the parasites. Microsoft is dying. For it to live, it must eliminate the bloat. It must eliminate the parasites. The same can be said for universities and government. Tenure needs to end. Whole government departments need to be abolished.

Parasites work to convince others of their necessity. This is because the truth will mean their elimination. Parasites know the truth about themselves. They know it because of that vague lack of satisfaction in their jobs. They usually fill that hole with free time, bloated compensation, perks, and status. But their ultimate trick is to convince everyone else that everyone else is lazy. As long as the gaze is on yourself, it is not on them.



The fundamental motivation behind parasitism is laziness. Parasites don't want to work. They may engage in activity so long as it does not involve manual labor and keep them from the golf course. But parasites achieve through theft what the rest of us achieve through work. Like a thief, when work is involved, the return on the labor must be exponential to the cost of the labor. A bank robber can achieve in less than five minutes what it may take a month for you to make. Really brazen bank robbers achieve in a day what you will never make in your lifetime. Similarly, parasites work enough to save themselves from being either gainfully employed in a real occupation or unemployed. But most of their work is expended on maintaining the illusion that they add value. This is why they focus on ephemera and have lots of meetings and what have you. Plus, there is the outright taking of credit for work they didn't do like this Dilbert cartoon illustrates:



I have personally watched valuable employees get slandered and even terminated to protect a parasite from exposure. This Machiavellian chicanery abounds, but it is to everyone's detriment including that of the parasite. Without a host, a parasite will die. But there is no intelligent design in this. Parasites will kill off a host. This is what they do. It is called disease.

For an organization to survive and prosper and fulfill its function, there must be hygiene. Parasites must be eliminated. They threaten survival. This hygiene is produced by transparency. It comes when people speak out. This is why I expend so much time and energy bitching about the government. This is because the government represents the greatest threat to my survival and flourishing. Corporations do bad stuff, but they eventually die out from their own mismanagement and are no threat but to themselves. The free market produces its own hygiene. This is why big companies are regularly replaced by new companies.

But all of this nonsense comes down to people trying to get out of work. This is why I love this recession. The big fear is not unemployment. It is having to find employment in a real job. This is why I laughed at the story in the HuffPost about the MBA and former exec who turned to lawn mowing to make ends meet. Instead of being an entrepreneur and building a landscaping company, he spent his time trying to get another sweet corporate job doing nothing for six figures. You figured someone who knows business would be great at starting a business. But entrepreneurship is work, and parasites hate work. Basically, he was looking for a new host to suck on.

I know I will get a lot of flak for this post along with the other ones. This is because most of my readership is in the Parasite Class. I know you guys read my blog while you are at work. If I was getting paid for this gig, I would tailor the content to appeal to you lazy ass motherfuckers. But this is my hobby I do for the love of telling the truth. This is why I quit keeping track of my stats with a stat counter because it disheartened me to see the bulk of my readership hitting my blog in the prime time of the internet which is M-F 9-5. It is probably how Dave Chappelle felt when he realized that most of his audience was white folks laughing at racist jokes that only black comedians get to tell and which white people tell each other when no black folks are around. But I digress. . .

I don't respect people who don't work, and these parasites don't work. Yes, they exist. But if they didn't exist, everyone would be better off. My challenge to parasites is very simple. What do you do? What value do you add? What do you do with your days except read my blog? Every parasite I talk to says the same thing involving meetings, emails, conference calls, etc. To hear them tell it, they are the hardest working people on the planet. But they never mention the purpose of the organization or their relationship to that purpose. At the end of the day, they can't point to any accomplishments because they don't have any. Rational people abhor meaningless work which is why they will bust their asses to get a hard job done but dread filling out a pointless form.

The problem with this country is that people need to get back to work. I'm not talking about having a job. Having a job is easy. I'm talking about doing actual work for a change. This is why I deplore socialism and the welfare state because it subsidizes the lazy at the expense of hard working people. I read stories of public employees with bloated salaries like the government parasites in Bell, CA. I read about tenured professors who look down on adjunct faculty that actually teach. Meanwhile, the quality of a college education has declined considerably while the costs have skyrocketed. I read about high paid CEOs who get paid enormous sums to run their companies into the ground. This is because today's CEOs are culled from the ranks of middle management instead of being entrepreneurs and founders. Company founders take as little as $1 annually in compensation. Even Warren Buffett takes about $100K in salary from Berkshire probably to pay for all those steaks and Cherry Cokes.

A recession is simply reality. You can't consume more than you can make, and you can't make anything if you don't work. The shock of it all is that people have to do real work for a change and offer real value. My critics will try some "sophisticated" argument to try and take me down on this. But I have already pointed out this trick in this series. This is what parasites do. Reality is "complicated." You just don't understand, Charlie. Blah blah blah. Save the horseshit for someone who might buy it. I know better. I know that you are a worthless piece of shit. Your life is a lie. As a human being, you have no value. You do nothing. You lie and steal. You suck the blood from life. The most noble and useful thing you could do would be to paint a wall with your brains.

I believe in blue collar values. The world may change, but these values never change. Success is not a trick. Success--real success--is the product of work. It isn't about getting over on people. It is about providing value. It is about being authentic and real. It is about taking pride in your work. These values were lost in the bubble economy. But no bubble economy is sustainable. This is because reality has the last word. We shouldn't call them recessions but reevalutations. Just as bloated house prices have come down to reality so should people's values. People valued high living, status, and big paychecks. Now, they value simple living, honesty, and a good work ethic. The Parasite Class despises these values, but the parasites are as dependent on these values as anyone else. Parasites will lie and steal and do nothing, but they expect everyone else to be truthful, honest, and hard working. As I said, the host doesn't need the parasite. It is the parasite that needs a host. Once the host dies, the parasite dies, too. I've never seen it any other way.

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