Random Thoughts on Various Subjects

1. OSAMA BIN LADEN

It amazes me that this fucker is still alive. George W. Bush is a flipping idiot to have let this son of a bitch get away. Now, he comes back to taunt us on the anniversary of 9/11.

Mr. President, if you want to make up for your numerous failures as a president that will tarnish your legacy like a broad shit stain on the underwear of history, CAPTURE OR KILL OSAMA BIN LADEN. Make it your only goal in the twilight of your failed administration.

2. STEVE FOSSETT

It would be a shame if this guy turned up dead. The man has huge balls. Of all the shit he has achieved, going down in a plane in Nevada seems anticlimactic to a life of sheer adventure. I really hope they find him.

3. GAMECOCKS VS. BULLDOGS

I root for the Cocks, but I don't seem them beating Georgia. I have little faith in the upcoming season that USC will pull off anything great. All I ask is that they beat Clemson.

4. PAVAROTTI

I'm sorry, but opera sucks. I don't care how well this guy used to sing it.

5. GONZALES

I'm glad Alberto Gonzales is gone. Of course, his replacement can't be any worse, but I see more of the same abuses of power continuing under whoever takes over. Fuck the Patriot Act.

6. MEMO TO LARRY CRAIG

Go home, fuckhead. You are an embarrassment. You should lose your job for being a homophobic hypocrite. Besides, what is it about a public shitter that makes fudgepackers want to fuck one another? It must be the smell of shit. Nasty.

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