Always Be Nice

I am a mean person. This does not mean that I am an immoral person or a jerk. But I am vicious when provoked. I hurt people with my words.

I have always been taught that nice guys finish last, and I have had that reinforced time and again by countless bad experiences with people. But being mean to people doesn't really change that. Nice guys may finish last, but mean guys never finish at all.

I believe in being neither victim nor victimizer. Regardless of whether you play nice or nasty, people are still going to try and get over on you. The problem is not how you treat them but in how they treat you. You can't control this. People are going to do what they are going to do.

Being nice is not the same as being a doormat. In the workplace, we call it professionalism. This means leaving your emotions out of it. I have learned in my working life to always be nice to customers, bosses, and coworkers. This doesn't mean that I haven't had tensions with them. But I have learned that being mean only elevates those tensions. As they say, a kind word turns away wrath.

I think I should adhere to the same policy in my personal relationships. Always be nice. I call it unilateral niceness. Play nice even if others don't.

There are some people you can't be nice to. The best policy is to walk away from them. Even in this, you can be nice. Tell them politely that you can no longer continue to have a relationship with them and let that be the end of it. But always be nice.

Niceness is not the same as goodness or kindness. Niceness does not emanate from weakness but from strength. It is refraining from striking back. It is the magnanimity of someone who can inflict damage but chooses not to do so. It is the mark of a great souled person.

I believe this is the right way to be which means a change of mind and life for myself. I will apologize for the bad things I have done and try not to do them anymore. But overall, I am forsaking nastiness as a legitimate tool in my social arsenal. I have been very nasty, and I can honestly tell you that it doesn't work one damn bit.

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