Fridays

I hate Fridays. Most people hate Mondays, but I hate Fridays. The reason I hate Fridays is because of all those people who hate Mondays.

Monday through Thursday, I feel like I am trapped in a zombie movie as my listless coworkers shuffle through the day in a daze of depression, lethargy, and laziness. For them, work is a curse. But lo and behold, when Friday comes, WATCH OUT!! The dead become alive and will run your ass over quickly doing their work as fast and as sloppy as they can. I go from being the most productive worker to "being in the way" when Friday comes.

I despise Fridays. I can't stand these slack fuckers that live solely for the weekends. On Friday, i just stop talking to people to keep from smashing their faces in. It is damn irritating to have some Monday through Thursday slack ass calling you a slacker because you might be cutting into precious weekend time. I just want to scoop out their eyeballs and skullfuck them.

I go the same speed all week. I get the job done, and I believe the best way to save time is to do the job right the first time instead of doing it over. Naturally, Friday night produced a colossal error that resulted in 45 extra minutes of work. Then, that same fuckup had the audacity to tell me to hurry up. My reply?

"LISTEN HERE, YOU SHIT-FOR-BRAINS-CLUSTERFUCKTARD. IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED UP, WE'D BE HOME RIGHT NOW!!!"

Then, there is the Friday traffic. Why is that most people in Columbia drive like normal sane people Monday through Friday morning but become absolute moronic shitheads on the road after 5 o'clock Friday afternoon? Where is the fire?

I really hate Fridays. I enjoy my weekends just like everyone else, but I also enjoy my job and doing it well. It is pretty damn sad when you despise five out of seven days of your life each week. Not me. Work is merely where they pay you to play. I learned that from Mark Twain, and it has made a huge difference in my life. Either way, people need to chill out on Friday. Saturday and Sunday aren't going anywhere.

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