What’s Wrong with Tony Kornheiser

The hiring of Tony Kornheiser for the Monday Night Football announcing team continues an unfortunate trend. Increasingly, commentators don’t talk about the game they are supposedly covering. Instead, they talk about "sports issues," usually sports law issues, while the game goes on in the background. Both baseball and football give us the worst of this, as the many dead spots during the action give ample room for the commentators to pontificate about the state of the game, the commissioner’s doings, player-manager disputes, and the like. Last year’s MNF team, John Madden and Al Michaels, distracted the viewer constantly from game action, especially when the score became even a little one-sided. It’s as if the commentators prepare with talking points instead of game film.

But why employ ex-jocks or former coaches to try their unpracticed hands at this brand of meta-commentary when one can get a pro? Hence the hiring of a full-time, experienced opinion-maker like Mr. Kornheiser.

Maybe it’s just personal preference. I don’t want to watch the Sports Reporters or Bryant Gumbel when I tune in to a football game. It’s the game match-up that draws me, not a chance to hear Kornheiser pontificate or Dennis Miller offer canned one-liners. The constant argument is distracting. I used to go to a church that played music during the recitation of prayers. Who thought this up? Who thinks this is a good idea, to say to the audience we’re going to do one thing, lure them to the activity of that thing, and then, while doing that thing, distract them with something else? Ads for MNF hype the upcoming game and its stars; they don’t say tune in to hear someone give brief, offhand opinions on close issues. I no more want to hear Tony speculating on the legality of mandatory drug testing while a halfback runs off tackle than I want to hear soft rock music kick in while I’m reading from a prayer book. It’s also frustrating. Joe Theismann can explain how a quarterback reads defenses, but he’s obviously not very adept at trading arguments with a professional writer who in high school had his head in Latin conjugations while Joe had his arm around a cheerleader.

No, the fair opponent for Kornheiser’s attempts at quick intellectualisms would be the nemesis who helped make his career, Michael Wilbon. I enjoy PTI. I love MNF. I also have a TIVO. If for some bizarre reason I want to watch the two shows simultaneously I could make it happen. There might be a few folks for whom this sounds appealing, but I suspect not most of us. I like my expert football commentators to be expert in football.

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