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I am intimately acquainted with sleep deprivation. Even as I write this, I am feeling the effects of another weekend adventure involving a long drive to the Washington, DC area. Why do I do this to myself? The answer to that one is simple. There are not enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to get done. My reach exceeds my grasp. Will I ever stop this? Not likely.

I have been looking over the past to see my battles with the sleep demons. I think my first encounter with them came when I was a kid and wanting to stay up to watch some movie or television show. My mom would put a stop to that. So, I would read in the bed with the lights out. I used a flashlight a couple of times, but I found that I was less likely to get caught if I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and use the ambient light that came from the living room as my folks watched TV. I could read until they went to bed. Then, it was safe to pull out the flashlight.

I would pay a price for my nocturnal reading the next day as I trudged through my school day in a zombie state of sleep deprivation. I thought this was a bad thing, but I see now that it was preparation for the rest of my life. The world belongs to those who burn the candle at both ends. Whether it is an entrepreneur working the equivalent of three jobs or a computer programmer coding all night fueled with Red Bull and Snicker’s bars, going without sleep is a regular feature of life for people who are trying to get shit done.

For me, college was the ultimate experiment in sleep demon battle. I took a full load of courses, worked a job, and spent a lot of time with friends. It was during this time I became acquainted with the awesome virtues of the Waffle House. It was the only place that was open after the pizza place I worked at was closed. Denny’s was also a favorite especially when I lived in Florida and my shift would end at midnight. Other people got drunk and went to these places when the bars closed. I went there after working binges.

Most people tend to live from 7 am to 10 pm, but I live during the entire 24 hour period. I don’t think anything of getting up at 2 am to do some laundry, go to Walmart, or write a blog post. I sleep, but it isn’t normal sleep. I wedge sleep in between activities, and I get in about four hours before I become restless again and want to do something. This can become irritating if you are in a relationship with someone with normal sleep patterns. You are awake when they are asleep or falling asleep when they are awake.

Another one of the annoying things I do is eat in a completely driven way. I usually finish my meal in half the time it takes a normal person to eat. The only time this isn’t the case is if I am talking during a meal and the convo is more interesting than the food. Then, people wait for me to finish eating. I don’t enjoy food so much as I tear through like a chore that needs to get done. Needless to say, this style of eating becomes very messy, and I have earned the nickname “Crummy.”

I have recently adopted a good habit. I eat in a less messy way. The secret is to eat your sandwiches with a fork. Shit works! I am particular fond of the grilled chicken melt sandwiches you can get from either the Waffle House or the Huddle House, but they are hard to eat because the cheese tends to burn your mouth while the chicken doesn’t always tear in two when you bite into it. Things get messy very quickly. Now, I eat those things with a fork, and the mess is history. Talk about a lifechanger!

Another recent lifechanger for me was the purchase of a used Toyota Tacoma pickup truck as my personal vehicle. This leaves me open to criticism about being wasteful in my spending because the truck burns more gas than my Camry that got destroyed after hitting a deer. But I needed a truck. I have a constant need to haul shit. I don’t have a constant need to haul people. Since buying the vehicle, I have used it at least five times over the last month to haul items that would have never fit in my car or would have required multiple gas guzzling trips to haul. I hesitate to say that it paid for itself since I am sure I could have used a rental truck and a well laid out plan to achieve the same result for less money. But when you own a truck, your items to haul increase as you now realize you have the option. It is like buying a hammer and seeing nails appear.

I have also adopted a personal uniform. This is a minimalist idea that I have seen others adopt, and I have decided to copy them. I have also been motivated by the present company that I keep to dress better. I needed to elevate my game a bit to match the game of my significant other who dresses like a grandmother, so I now dress like a grandfather.

My uniform is not like that of Steve Jobs who was famous for the black mock turtleneck, the jeans, and the New Balance running shoes. It isn’t Nick Gillespie with his total black wardrobe and black leather jacket. And it isn’t Leo Babauta with his minimalist wardrobe of dark colored T-shirts and pants. Instead, it is a cross between a minimalist wardrobe and something you would see from the Art of Manliness. Before I describe the uniform, I have to tell you about douchewear.

Douchewear is my old way of dressing. This would be cargo pants or shorts, a pair of sandals or Skechers, and some ratty T-shirt. Toss in a fleece jacket with foodstains for the colder months, and you have douchewear. The result was that I looked like a child all the time. Of course, most men regardless of age dress like this today, and the effect is to look like both a kid and a slob at the same time. I never felt self-conscious about this look until I began dating a woman with a much better sense of dress than me. She doesn’t aim to be a 10, but she doesn’t aim to be a 1 either. This is the scale of formal/informal wear with 10 being what you wear to a funeral and 1 being what you wear to a barbecue at the beach. She aims for 7 or 8 in her daily attire. I tend to be a 2.

I overhauled my wardrobe by tossing out all my cargo pants and shorts. I kept one pair of shorts and my Skechers sandals for that trip to the beach that may come along. My Skechers sneakers got tossed as well along with the fleece jackets, T-shirts with writing on them, polo shirts that I never wore, etc. Here is my uniform now:

--black or navy blue undershirt with no writing on it
--workpants in brown, khaki, or blue
--a button down shirt either short sleeve or long depending on temperature
--a pair of brown leather workboots with black socks
--sandstone work jacket

No one can accuse me of being a preppy, and I am not exactly minimalist except with a nod to Leo with the monochrome T-shirts. But I have tried to aim for the middle with a bent towards the blue collar and the functional. If I get hot from work, I lose the overshirt. If I need to step it up, I tuck that shirt in. Leather shoes always look more mature than sneakers, but I am too active to go with wingtips or those black oxfords with the white socks like my great uncle wore. I think I am now a solid 5. If I want to aim higher, I would get some penny loafers, some Dockers, and a sweater, but that shit makes me want to puke a bit in my mouth. I am too blue collar to pull that off.

It is a sign of the times that I now get complimented on the way I dress. I’m not actually dressing that well. It is that men are dressing that poorly that I look good in contrast. The effect on my psyche has been awesome as I now don’t feel embarrassed to be in public anymore. I see the douchewear on all the other guys especially at Walmart, and I laugh at it. The only thing that makes me laugh more is skankwear.

The skank uniform here in SC is standard. It is a tank top, a pair of cut off jeans or similar tight fitting shorts, and some flip flops. The women may or may not have the bodies to pull this off, but it doesn’t matter. They all look like fuckmeat trash. Walmart is where you can see this skin on display.

I don’t intend to preach at people over the way they dress, but I am going to provide the example of One Improved Unit. I think we have let shit slide as a culture such that we now go about in our underwear and sleepwear. I am as guilty as anyone else of being a total slacker in this regard. My mind changed the moment I packed my camouflage cargo shorts in the bag headed for Goodwill. As I said, I am no preppy. I just aim for the mean between deficiency and excess. Our culture today has become deficient in the dress and personal grooming departments.

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