How to be Successful

Infomericals, personal development gurus, self-help books, and the like all exhort us to be successful, but we still get the idea that it is all bullshit. Let me end the debate for you. It is.

What is success? That is the fundamental question. For many people, success is being rich, having status, being recognized for a particular talent, etc. If you make a good salary, drive a Ferrari, and have a hot looking significant other and abs of steel, you are a success. But Stephen Hawking doesn't have these things. Is he a loser?

The problem with success is that we have no definition for it. As such, it is really a waste of time to consider someone a failure or a success. Consider Paris Hilton. She was born into money she did not earn. But she has made a lot of money on her own. But she can't sing or act, and she has big feet. Is she a success or a failure?

Defining success relative to others is also problematic. Status is the most ephemeral measure of success. There is the distinction between fortune and merit. Clearly, Paris Hilton is fortunate while Stephen Hawking has shown merit. It is an apples and oranges comparison.

There is also the fact that to be successful in one endeavor is to also suck in all others. Michael Jordan showed us this with his baseball career. This is also the creation of the has-been and the one hit wonder and the late bloomer. Being successful while young makes the rest of your life an anticlimax. Michael Jackson never made another Thriller.

The problem with not having a definition of success is that it makes you feel miserable. You don't measure up. You are a loser. And the more you try to change this, the worse it becomes. You work hard, but success eludes you. You have a fortunate stroke of luck, and you feel like a phony. And there is always someone better looking, more talented, richer, etc. You can't win on this shit. To add to it is that most people are average which isn't so bad unless you live in a society that condemns being average, middle class, and unknown.

All of these problems are cleared away when we do find the definition of success, and I have it. The goal of life is to be happy, and you are successful when you achieve this goal. That is it. The guy who quits his high salary job to spend his days rock climbing is a success. The surf bum who spends his days at the beach is a success. The rich guy who hates his life and his job is not a success.

When you take your eye off of others and look at your own life measured against your own values, that will tell you if you are a success or not. Are you happy? If you are, you are successful. You have achieved the goal of life.

You will know that you are successful the moment you stop envying other people. This is because you won't care. When you are happy, you don't give a fuck. As for happiness, this comes from a life of meaningful and rational activity. And you know you have met a successful person because they show no trace of status consciousness or snobbery. They are secure in who they are, and they don't need anyone to tell them who they are.

No one else can decide for you what constitutes happiness. It is an individual affair. No one else can make you happy but you, and your success or failure in this endeavor is your business. But I can tell you this. When you are happy, miserable people will envy the hell out of you, and some of them might drive Ferraris.

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