Google Trends

My brother and I were having a conversation the other day about increasing blog traffic, and he recommended Google Trends which is a site that tells you what the hot topics people are searching for on a given day. I checked it out, and I thought it would be a neat idea to roll their top 10 search topics into a single post to see what happens. This will be a regular feature here at Charlie's Blog.

1. Ramadan Prayer Times

Alright, I'm not Muslim. I'm an atheist. I also don't believe in fasting which may explain why I'm a fat ass. My advice? Stop praying and get some Taco Bell.

2. Virtual Counselor

You know school is back in session when this is a hot topic. A virtual counselor is where parents can log on to see that their kids are going to turn out to be fucking rejects in life like me. What it won't tell you is how much booze they are swilling from your liquor cabinet.

3. Inglourious Basterds Quotes

I definitely am going to see this movie. Here are some quotes I googled for y'all:

Lt. Aldo Raine: My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I need me eight soldiers. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. We're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only... killing Nazis.

Lt. Aldo Raine: Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps... and I want my scalps!

Lt. Aldo Raine: The German will be sickened by us, the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us.

Lt. Aldo Raine: If you ever wanna eat a Sauerkraut sandwich again take your Wiener Schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I wanna know.

Col. Hans Landa: What a tremendously hostile world that a rat must endure. Yet not only does he survive, he thrives. Because our little foe has an instinct for survival and preservation second to none... And that Monsieur is what a Jew shares with a rat.

Lt. Aldo Raine: So you're "The Jew Hunter."
Col. Hans Landa: [giddy] That's a bingo!

Lt. Aldo Raine: I need to know about Germans hiding in trees. And you need to tell me right now.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazi's to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies.

4. My Lai Massacre

This is not to be confused with the McBee Diner Massacre where Ralph Jenkins wiped out the olfactory senses of the entire breakfast crowd from the previous night's dinner of pork and beans, deviled eggs, cabbage, and fried chicken with the grease on some rice for gravy.

5. Ramadan 2009 Calendar

More Ramadan shit?! Go back to item 1 to reread clever joke.

6. Seeking Arrangement

This is a website where hot young bitches can hook up with rich old geezers on Viagra who will lavish dinero upon them after blowing spunk in their hair. You can find the site here:

http://www.seekingarrangement.com/

7. Urvashi Dhanorkar Photo

This is some Indian TV bitch who abused a 10 year old girl. Here's the news quote:

MUMBAI - TV actress Urvashi Dhanorkar was arrested here today for physically abusing her 10-year-old maid.

She has been booked under the Juvenile Justice Act and the Child Labour Act.

The actress arrested after medical reports confirmed that Urvashi was responsible for physically abusing her domestic help.

The girl was brought from Amravati to Mumbai in pretext of adoption and education. She was brutally punched in her eye and was left with black and bruised marks, besides burns on her forearms.

When she was rescued by her neighbours last night, the girl’s eyes was closed due to severe injuries.

Urvashi will be produced before a court later today. (ANI)



I can't find a single photo of this chick. She must be fugly as hell.

8. Annapolis Movie

Don't ask me why people are googling this shit movie no one has seen.

9. Jeff Conaway

This is the Philadelphia Eagles coach who gets to hear the crowds go "woof woof" everytime Michael Vick takes the field.

10. Ryan Jenkins Arrested

This is rumor shit. He killed his wife Jasmine Fiore. I did a google image search, and she is not that hot even though she was in Playboy. She was a filler for that mag. They identified her remains from her breast implants. I'd make a joke, but a chopped up body in a suitcase just ain't funny.

Jenkins is charged with strangling his wife, swimsuit model and Howard Stern ad campaign girl Jasmine Fiore, to death and removing her fingers and teeth from her body to obscure positive identification of her body, cramming her into a suitcase and throwing the suitcase into a dumpster near her apartment building. Jasmine Fiore’s body was discovered by a man searching the dumpster for recyclable bottles and cans.

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