Fuck Georgia

I despise the state of Georgia. Last year, I got my one and only speeding ticket in Georgia. I really hate those fuckers.

If you are not aware of this, let me tell you now that you should not speed in Georgia. Unlike here in SC, Georgia law enforcement enforces traffic laws vigorously as a means of revenue enhancement. In my particular case, I was caught in a speed trap with cops on a bridge with a radar gun with others in the cars. They were lining us up one after another beside the road. This operation was designed for maximum ticket writing. They were shooting fish in a barrel. It was an assembly line of government fistfuckery.

Now, many of you are probably not sympathetic to my plight. I was breaking the law. But let's face facts, our highways are filled with people breaking the law. In fact, if you obey the law, people will whizz by you all day. I don't have any figures, but I think I can safely say it is a small minority that actually goes the speed limit. In addition, the cops are hypocrites on this. I routinely see them whizzing by at ten to fifteen miles over the limit, and they are not in pursuit of anyone.

My position on speed limits is that they should be abolished. This may sound nutty on the face of it, but people are already breaking the speed limit with no ill effects. The reality is that one's speed is automatically regulated by the amount of traffic on the road. On an empty road, I think I should be able to go fast. On a crowded road, I can't go fast even if I tried. I don't know why they call it "rush hour." There's no rushing at all. Back to the story. . .

I had to go to traffic court in Augusta to dispose of this matter. I went early to make sure I would be on time. Naturally, I was at the wrong address. It was listed on the ticket, but the cop who wrote the ticket had really sloppy penmanship. Most cops try to be neat with their tickets because they are legal documents. In Georgia, they write them too fast to bother with neatness. Those fuckers have a quota to meet.

I had to go to the other side of town to get to the right courtroom. Naturally, I did some speeding. Take that, you bastards.

Traffic court was packed, and I thought I would be there all day. A Richmond County deputy was acting as bailiff, and he informed us all with a sardonic laugh and a shit eating grin that we could feel good knowing that we are helping to fill the potholes around Augusta. I could sense that everyone in the room wanted to scoop out his eyeballs, knock out his teeth, and skullfuck him to death. But maybe that was just me.

But things went faster than I thought. I paid with my Visa card after negotiating the prosecutor down on my charge. And that was that.

Fuck Georgia. Fuck the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Fuck the Georgia Bulldogs. I wish Sherman could come back from the dead and burn that place down again.

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