The Robots Are Coming! The Robots Are Coming! Will Artificial Intelligence One Day Solve The Things That Don't Make Sense in Sports?

Ray Kurzweil's new book The Singularity is Near concludes that by the year 2025, we will have invented machines that are as smart as humans; according to Kurzweil, even the best of today's computers only have an artificial intelligence of an insect. After we have invented machines that are as smart as humans, "we" (meaning humans and the computers themselves) will soon develop machines that are millions of times smarter than humans. Kurzweil estimates that by 2045, such superior machines will exist, and when that happens--a moment Kurzweil calls "singularity"--there will be a "profound and disruptive transformation" in society.

I know what you are all thinking: Kurzweil has watched The Terminator too many times. But he is no James Cameron rip-off artist. In fact, he is a graduate of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology ('70) who has won numerous awards for his inventions in computers and scientific studies, and he has become quite wealthy in the process. In fact, earlier this year, Bill Gates called Kurzweil, "the best at predicting the future of artificial intelligence."

So let's assume that Kurzweil is right, and that by 2045, machines that are millions of times smarter than us will exist. How would we put them to work (unless, of course, they trick us and put us to work)? One way might be to solve all of the things that don't make sense in sports (I know, there would obviously be better ways to use them, but indulge this for a moment).

Here are some things that don't make sense in sports and that perhaps our superior robot "friends" will help us with:

1) The BCS System for college football rankings. There must be a better system, and one that actually anoints the number 1 team as . . . The Number 1 Team.

2) The "tie" in the NHL, and how its point-significance seems to change every season. For a league that has gone from thriving to fledging in a mere decade, let's hope that a robot can save the day.

3) The antitrust-exemption for Major League Baseball. Unless a robot becomes MLB Commissioner and justifies the exemption on some ground that none of us have or can deduce, the robots should help to get rid of it (perhaps by starting a lobby group on K Street).

4) A clear definition of what "is" a sport. Does it include athletic activities that have no "defense" (e.g., golf), or those that feature animals (e.g., horse racing)? How about cheerleaders? And does it include poker players and pre-adolescent spelling bee contestants--two groups that are prominently featured on ESPN?

5) An explanation for how, after 10 seasons on the job, Chuck Lamar was still the general manager of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in 2005 (note: this could be edited if he somehow continues on the job next season). As of a couple of months ago, he had posted a 480-720 record as general manager, "leading" his team to successive last-place finishes. Blame could certainly be shared by many in Devil Rays organization (including its owner, Vince Naimoli), but the buck has to stop somewhere. And 10 years on the job isn't exactly a "look-see" as to whether the GM is good. Only a super robot could explain this one.

6) A reason for why there is moral outrage when 18-year old basketball and football players are eligible to play in the NBA and NFL, respectively, but not when there are 14-year old soccer pros, or 14-year old tennis pros, or 15-year old golf pros. Or kid actors or kid musicians. Or 18-year old soldiers risking their lives for us in foreign lands.

7) A study on why people assume that education among athletes has a direct correlation with their propensity to stay out-of-trouble with the law. Oh, wait, I think I've got that one - maybe the robots won't consider me "obsolete"!

What are some other things that don't make sense in sports and that might be solved by robots that are millions of times smarter than us?

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