Friday, August 31, 2012

The 12 Stages of Climbing Addiction

Denial...
Hey, this climb isn't so bad. What a beautiful day it is. What a pretty little mountain.

Anger...
Damn it, this thing keeps getting steeper. And it's longer than I thought. My legs are killing me already. I am in my lowest gear. This is miserable. Why am I here?

Rationalisation...
Okay, look - The computer says it’s only a 10% grade. Nothing I haven't done before. I can keep at it for a while. Okay, so now it’s a 14% grade. But it’s unlikely to be a long climb. Yes, I am sure it will end soon.

Bargaining...
If I push extra hard on this next stretch, I bet it will flatten out just around the bend. Please let it flatten out around the bend…

Acceptance...
It's not going to flatten out, is it. In fact it’s only getting steeper. I am spent. I am nauseous. My legs are done.

Crisis Intervention...
Oh my god, I need to unclip before I fall over. Now. Right now!

Action...
Click. Thump. Pant, pant.

Shame...
Great, I couldn't even make it to the top.

Re-evaluation...
Oh wait, what? Looks like I did make it to the top!

Celebration...
I’m at the top! What a pretty little mountain. What a beautiful day. What an extremely tasty banana.

Denial Redux...
Oh that climb wasn't so bad!

Addiction...
Let’s do this again?

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