The Personal Cost of Atheism

One of the things that is hard about becoming an atheist is dealing with the existential aspect of the decision. Giving up belief in God is a big worldview changer. I am convinced people believe in God more for these personal reasons than because they have carefully weighed the evidence. You can go on and on about fossil records and philosophical arguments. But the reason people persist in belief despite the evidence is because it is too upsetting not to believe. People believe because it makes them feel better and makes the world a better place for them even if it is an illusion.

When you become an atheist, you have to deal with the reality that there is no one up there looking out for you. There is no afterlife for you. And the ones you love who have passed away will never be seen again. That is a lot to swallow.

I had to deal with all of this. I was basically an atheist when I found my roommate dead in his room from a self-inflicted wound. I never prayed again after that. I didn't consider myself an atheist then, but it would be four years before I would say I was an atheist. It was about 5 years that I would even declare my atheism in the public way that I do now.

It takes time to make peace with the reality. For me, that peace came from reading Albert Camus. Camus was someone trying to make peace with these basic questions. He was asking if life is possible or meaningful without God. Books like The Stranger or The Plague were profound influences on me. It is why I am the compassionate person I am today. Without Camus, I would be a much darker person.

Many atheists come across as cold and unfeeling, and this is a shame. I don't think people like Hitchens or Harris or Dawkins fully understand the trauma of it all. I can relate because I was a person of faith. I am even working on a book on the subject called Peace Without God. I don't know if it will have a wide reading, but thanks to the internet, it will be available for public consumption.

I can't really answer all those questions or issues here. It is a big subject fit only for a book. All I can say is that I care, and there is life after God.

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.--ALBERT CAMUS

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