The Positive Association Principle

I had a friend one time who gave me really good advice. I am really bad at picking friends and girlfriends, but this friend of mine gave me a measuring rod to judge the people in my life by. It was a question.

"Does this person make me better or worse?"

It was simple. I should only associate with people who made me better. Ironically, I would later let this friend go for violating this principle. She made me worse.

It is hard to get through life without running into false friends and parasites. This is why you must relentlessly prune these people out of your circle of associations. These aren't people that piss you off. These are people who bring you down morally, financially, and emotionally.

It sucks to get rid of someone. I don't like doing it. But it has to be done. Caring for someone does not obligate you to let them shit on you. And when you give them the boot, they will call you selfish. FUCK THEM. This is the narcissism talking hoping to wring a bit of altruism out of your guilty conscience.

I have been used more times than I care to admit. But I have learned not to tolerate that shit anymore. You have to have some self-respect on this shit. You teach people how you want to be treated.

It is super easy to get along with me. Treat me just like you want me to treat you. There is zero complication with that. It is what I do when I am around other people. I treat them the way I want to be treated.

I'm not a perfectionist on this. I understand that people mess up sometimes. It is no big deal. The people I have had problems dealing with are clueless fucktards who have no idea just how fucked up they are. I once had a friend call me in the middle of the night to ask me for $80 to tow a friend's car home. I told him I didn't have it but would gladly give him a ride home. He told me I was no use to him. I told him he was no use to me either. With friends like this fuckhead, who needs enemies?

With girlfriends, the issue gets even worse for me. I can deal with just about any kind of emotional issues a woman might have. I will stick with her through thick and thin and see her to the end. I am very devoted believe it or not. But the moment they decide to become alcoholics or drain me for money or what have you, I am gone. You can't help anyone if they are hurting you.

It is easy to see the logic behind this policy. It makes sense. But people are still going to lay the guilt trip on you. I know my aunt will disagree with me on this. She was the one who told me I needed to be selfish and look out for myself. Then, she booted me for doing exactly that.

The irony is when people decide to boot you for being a little too honest. I try to make the people in my life better. I do this while also trying to respect their autonomy. I don't want to be a busybody. But if I see a friend fucking up, I am going to tell them. It has cost me I can tell you.

The main thing is to stop feeling guilty. Get rid of these people. You should never love someone more than you love yourself.

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