The Brown Swan

My brother sent this to me via email. It was too good not to share.

My Negative Black Swan:

I thought it was impossible to shit in my pants whilst farting on my cohorts.........until the day that I did. The dramatic outcome was that I had to sit around in gym shorts all day while my clothes were in the washer. What is worse is that I didn't think lightning could strike twice, but a year or so later, it did. The difference is that I hedged my bets by clenching my asscheeks together ('switching to manual") and I all I had to do was waddle to the restroom and wipe up the damage. Essentially, a "Brown Swan" could have ruined my life, but I was ready for it. I am glad someone has finally written a book on how to clench your asscheeks together. I thought I was the only person in the world to think this way.

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