High Infidelity

More people cheat than don't. There are no hard and fast figures on this subject because people are prone to lie. But of the people who are willing to tell the truth, most of them report being unfaithful. 60 to 70% of married men and 50 to 60% of married women admit to cheating on their spouses. These are underreported figures. It is a dismal picture.

The reality of human nature is that human beings are not monogamous. People love to fuck, and they seem to do it as often as they can. I admit to having more than one sex partner in my life, and I am not ashamed of it. But I can also say that I have never cheated on a single one of my girlfriends. I don't even mean technical faithfulness either. I haven't even so much as kissed another woman.

I am a serial monogamist. I have tried to be a dog, but I don't have that shit in me. I have loved my girlfriends too much to hurt them in this way. I also like retaining my self-respect. I am proud of my fidelity.

I don't understand why men cheat. Women think that maybe it is simply a result of horniness and that if they keep their men satisfied they won't stray. But this isn't true at all. I find that most men simply want the thrill and the ego boost that a fling will bring. Women are trophies. I know because they brag to me about their conquests. These women think these pigs actually give a fuck about them. Yet, they describe to me in graphic detail how they have penetrated every hole the chick had.

Women cheat for emotional reasons. Like men, women want to feel special. They want to be adored, and an affair helps women to feel this way. Women want to be loved and appreciated. The result is that they are suckers who get used and abused. What these women fail to see is the contempt most men hold them in. I almost feel sorry for them except they have a tendency to walk all over the men who really love them.

All of these facts combined with my own experiences with cheating women have hardened me inside. I still love, but it is not with the same love. I am not jealous as much as paranoid. Experts will tell you to look for the signs of infidelity. They can be things like loss of intimacy, more time spent at work, unexplained charges to credit cards, etc. But sometimes loss of intimacy occurs because of stress at work. Sometimes, more time spent at work really is time spent at work. These clues can go both ways.

The significant other is usually the last one to know. That is because cheaters cover their tracks and even the cheater's friends say nothing to the S.O. because they want to stay out of the drama. I know that this is what I do. Finally, the person being cheated on often doesn't want to know, or they feel guilty for being suspicious.

I really don't know what to say about this. Basically, here are your choices. You can be a paranoid retard. You can be a complete sucker. Or, you can throw up your hands in despair and walk away from relationships altogether. Sad to say, I have been in all three of these states.

I am in a relationship now, and I feel sorry for her because I don't think she is aware of the damaged goods she has gotten. She thinks I am a great guy, but she has no idea that I keep my love in check. I adore her, but I wake up from paranoid nightmares of hurt and betrayal. The result is that she will almost certainly dump me for being such a fuckhead.

All I can say is that I have never cheated, and I never will. This commitment predates her and will continue after she is done with me. I cannot and will not inflict the hurt that has been inflicted on me. I don't use people in this way. The thought of it nauseates me.

I do not cheat because of my compassion. It is this compassion that attractes women to me, gives them the greenlight to use me, and then makes them stalk me to either expiate their guilt, gain back what they threw away, or make me into a bastard so they don't feel so bad for fucking me over.

I am an utterly fucked up person. I am still trying to pull off being neither victimizer nor victim. I feel that I am failing. At the end of the day, I love someone, and I would never hurt her. I can only hope she would never hurt me.

I know that I am in the last relationship I will ever be in no matter how it turns out. If she isn't the right one, there is no right one. And if there is a right one, I could never tell.

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