[SOC]

I am tired and sluggish as I write this. I am drinking coffee to try and get some kind of kick start. I am back to hating sleep again because I want to stay awake and do shit. In short, I am happy again. The result is constant activity followed by fatigue.

Happiness comes from activity. It comes from doing. You have to immerse yourself in work and projects to create the state known as "flow." Flow is what you want. This is what Aristotle found when he did philosophy. Of course, he was a philosopher. If you are a surfer, you find flow in surfing. The same is true for running, writing, or building a house.

Flow creates immense enthusiasm for living. Since this puts you in reality, you want to get as much of it as you can which causes you to start cutting back on sleep. You don't notice it at first, but it starts to creep up on you. You start staying up later and later each night as you try to do more stuff. You start getting up before the alarm goes off.

It is noon as I write this. I have been awake since 4 am writing. I took a brief nap, but it hasn't helped. I realize that I have spent enough hours on my hobby that most people would consider a full workday. I will OD on java and probably plow through until midnight tonight.

People equate exhaustion with depression because people who are depressed always act tired and sleep 10 hours a day. I'm tired because I neglect the need for sleep. This is the price of happiness.

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