MONDAY

1. Jack LaLanne has died. Naturally, slackers gloat and argue that 96 is young as they continue to lounge on the couch eating potato chips.

2. 96 is young. More chips please.

3. Aaron Rodgers celebrated his win over the Bears by sending a text to Brett Favre that said, "You are old." He also sent a picture of his penis.

4. Ben Roethlisberger celebrated his win over the Jets by finding a drunk chick to rape.

5. Rahm Emanuel just got fucked clear off the Chicago mayoral ballot. Tough shit, ballerina boy. The good news is there is a job opening over at MSNBC.

6. Oprah has a half-sister. That poor bitch. Oprah will charge admission to see the sister, and for a dollar, you can feed her peanuts through her cage.

7. MSNBC is going to contest Keith Olbermann's claim for unemployment checks.

8. Miranda Lambert is one hot country bitch!



9. Christina Aguilera is singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl. That is all the excuse I need to post this:



10. I hope someone warns Christina about drinking around Big Ben.

Posted in: