The Washington Patch

Brer Taibbi: I hate you Brer Blankfein. I'm gonna get you if it's the last thing I ever do. I have written this great book detailing your crimes and you are in trouble now. You've sassed me for the last time. I'm just deciding what we should do with you now".

Brer Blankfein gulped and did some quick thinking: "Whatever you do, Brer Taibbi, please don't make me suffer under no more goverment regulation!"

Brer Taibbi: "Maybe I will join the Libertarians and let the free market have its way with you"

Brer Blankfein's eyes got very large: "Subject me to the free market if you must, but whatever you do, please don't give me no more regulators."

Brer Taibbi: "Well, I'm not a big believer in the free market. Those libertarians are too gullible (unlike Brer Taibbi who was a sophisticated liberal writer). Maybe I'll recommend that you be prosecuted according to the laws of the land.

Brer Blankfein': "Prosecute me, sic the free market on me! Do whatever you please, only please, Brer Taibbi, just don't hit me with any more regulation!"

Brer Taibbi: "Regulators, eh? What a wonderful idea! I'm a big believer in goverment regulators They'll tear you into little pieces. I will issue forth a call for the mighty US government regulators to step in and take away your powers. Never again will you boss the rest of us around."

And with that, Brer Taibbi issued forth in his mightiest voice a call for the brave and bold US government to step and create regulations that would cut Brer Blankfein down to size. The US government sprang into action and answered the call, putting their best regulators on the case, and hiring many more to fill the void left by not enough regulation. Brer Taibbi cocked his ear toward the NY Times, listening carefully for stories to signify Brer Blankfein's death rattle. He heard nothing.

Then Brer Taibbi heard someone calling his name. He turned around and looked up at capital hill. Brer Blankfein was sitting next to a senator in a fine sushi restaurant, having a drink and a fine filet mignon and looking smug.

"I was bred and born in the washington patch, Brer Taibbi," he called. "Born and bred in the washington patch."

And Brer Blankfein flew away in his private jet as merry as a cricket while Brer Taibbi ground his teeth in rage and began his new job as a writer for the GNN (Government New Network).

Matt Taibbi: Wall Street Has Seduced America With Randian Pseudo-Libertarianism

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