TUESDAY

1. There was rejoicing in Blue Hell as the Dark Lord of Hardwood conquered the valiant players of Butler U. Better luck next year.

2. Butler's run shows why college football needs a playoff.

3. MEMO TO OBAMA: A college football playoff might help you come November. Just a hint.

4. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy split. He thinks polio shots are a good idea.

5. There is no Sandra Bullock sex tape with Jesse James. There might be one with Tommy Lee--Jesse and Tommy!! Oh, yeah, tattoo on tattoo man action!

6. You know Jesse wants some Kat Von D!



7. Obama throws like a girl.

8. Obama issues new nuclear weapon rules limiting when nukes will be used. They also require that Dick Cheney not get anywhere near The Button.

9. I put together a musical benefit for Haitia earthquake relief. The Haitians sent back the money with a request that I not sing anymore.

10. Some kids drop $500 on an iPad then clobber it for YouTube with a baseball bat. Stupid kids. I bet they listen to Zune mp3 players.

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