The Strait Jacket

My ambitions exceed my present resources. When this occurs, I feel constrained as if I am trapped in a strait jacket, and I am trying to punch my way out. It gets on my nerves. It is a restless feeling coupled with frustration. The upside is that it motivates me to accomplish goals which are replaced by other goals which leads to the strait jacket feeling again. In short, I am never satisfied.

Basically, I don't have enough time, money, or energy to do all the things I want to do. I keep lists of projects, but there are always challenges that come up when I try to accomplish them. For instance, I work a lot to produce free cash flow to put into a weekend project. But then, I don't have the energy to pull it off because I am exhausted from working so much. By the time I am rested up, I am out of time. Or I get distracted on side issues usually involving family and friends.

If there is one resource I value the most, it would be time. I can always expand my money supply or even my supply of energy. But time is time. I still have the same 24 as everyone else. No amount of effort on my part will give me a greater supply of time. So, I try and make the most of the time I have.

This was an issue for Leonardo and Edison. Both took catnaps in an effort to expand their time. I could take over the world if I didn't have to sleep ever again.

In terms of energy, I can also appreciate why MLB players use performance enhancing drugs esp. amphetamines. They have a grueling schedule, so that boost makes a huge difference. I limit myself to caffeine, but I can see the temptation in taking uppers in order to get more done. As it stands, I just accept the fact that I am always going to fall asleep during movies or gatherings. This is the price of chronic sleep deprivation.

So, what have I accomplished with all this work? Not much at all.

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