[SOC]

Knowing where to begin is the hardest part of an SOC post. It's like looking over the edge of a cliff surveying the spot where you should make your leap. Of course, if the goal is to smack the bottom, any spot will do. But if you are wearing a wingsuit, you want a spot that will allow you to soar and clear the cliff side. So, I will pick my spot. My spot to soar from is a serious topic. It is one of paramount importance today. Yes, folks, I am talking about smartphones.

I think smartphones are a fad. This brings incredulous looks when I make this statement, but there it is. I have discussed this topic before, and I admit that I can be totally wrong on this. But I don't think I am. I have looked back over the short history of consumer electronics looking for something comparable, and I think the product that is most comparable was the CB radio. I remember as a kid how popular that thing was. Everybody had to have a CB radio, and my old man put one in every vehicle we owned. It was a big fucking deal. Then, the fad died out. CB radios still exist, but it is mostly truckers who use them now. For the rest of us, they are useless.

The CB radio promised a great deal of practical use. In reality, it was a novelty and a toy. When the novelty wore off, people dropped the CB in favor of listening to FM radio in the morning and evenings. Likewise, smartphones are merely novelty items. Sure, they allow you the ability to surf the internet, but you can't read a damn thing on those tiny screens. So, they now have these mammoth hybrids of smartphones and tablet computers. They are obnoxious as fuck.

The result of the hybrid is a lousy phone that is too big for your pocket. I think tablet computers suck. Their only advantage over laptops was that they allowed you to put them in your lap without setting your legs on fire. That technology is now being included in laptop computers. And don't get me going on keyboards. I have tried typing on a screen, and it royally fucking sucks.

I love my cellphone, and I love my computer. I use both very often. My only touch device is my iPod touch which I never use. Once the fun of Angry Birds wore out for me, I stopped using the thing. I even listen to podcasts and music on my desktop computer. The iPod touch was a total waste of money for me. But it was a neat as hell gadget when I first bought it. As it stands, it is on the same level of my dad's desktop CB radio that I discovered as a kid and had fun cussing it up on the air until some redneck cussed back about dirty talk on the air. It scared the shit out of my brother and me.

As I get older and crustier, I find myself making the distinction between toys and tools. Smartphones are toys. Granted, it helps to get email on the go, but the Blackberry was better for that sort of thing than an Android/iPhone. Tactile keyboards are awesome. People like buttons. A slimy touchscreen with a layer of dead skin on it is not as appealing.

I think touch devices will decline in popularity as people get tired of them. They have that neat-o factor going for them, but that is not enough to sustain these products over the long haul. Ultimately, it boils down to utility. People want products that are useful. Laptops, desktops, and cellphones are useful. The iPad is not useful. You aren't going to write your senior thesis on the thing.

I feel a certain degree of tech fatigue, and I just get tired of being told that I need to have the latest gadget. Right now, I am writing this blog post on a second hand cobbled together desktop computer running Windows XP. I mostly use the products from Google now for my creative output. I do the cloud thing. I just see the touch device thing as being out of touch with where I am in my geekery.

My belief is that we are now at the stage of marginal improvement in the computer realm much like we are in the car and television realm. The tech world is hungry for another massive leap forward in gadgets, but it isn't there. This is why we are not living anything remotely like what the Jetsons had. Once you have something at the point of perfection, you can't make it any better. No one is trying to reinvent the fork or the spoon. We already have phones and computers. Touch devices are the tech equivalent of the spork that combines the functionality of two perfectly good devices into one convenient but ultimately shitty tool.

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