Q: Charlie, I'm interested in your views on marriage now that you're married yourself. Can you give us an update?
A: In the past here at the C-blog, I have written some scathing things about marriage. For the most part, my argument and my position has been that marriage is incredibly stupid in an age of rampant infidelity and divorce. Why would anyone do it? Naturally, I had to go and do it.
My viewpoints on marriage haven't changed at all. I think people are expecting me to disavow those viewpoints, but I'm not. Based on the evidence and the inability of people to be monogamous, you are an idiot to ever get married. The odds are overwhelmingly against it working out for you. But getting married does demand that I make some level of qualification on the matter, so here it is.
I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with the institution of marriage. The problem isn't with marriage but with the people who decide to marry. By and large, most people are pieces of shit. That isn't some idle opinion of mine but the only logical conclusion you can draw from the evidence. People swear fidelity, and they break their vows. They take the love that one person has for them, and they shit all over it.
Marriage requires two people of character and virtue in order for it to work. I will go on to say that married love is the only true love there is between a man and a woman. I haven't been married long enough to speak authoritatively about it, but I have spoken with people who have been married for long periods who seem as in love today as they did when they were newlyweds. The character of those relationships make them worth the risk of getting burned in the marriage process. In short, marriage is a gamble that you are unlikely to win, but if you do win, the rewards are worth the risk.
Before getting married, I had resigned myself to a life of bachelorhood. I had given up. A man who reaches the age of 40 without marrying is unlikely to ever get married. Then, I met my wife. She is a good risk. Actually, she is a no-brainer. She is the type of woman you would kick yourself for the rest of your life if you didn't marry her. I did not hesitate to propose, and she did not hesitate to accept. We just knew.
Will it work out? I don't know. I can say that for most of the people reading this that marriage is not going to work out for you. My only advice is to honor those vows and refrain from being a piece of shit. Don't cheat on your spouse. Have some character. Be a good person. When two people share those values, it has to work.
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