Politics and the Outdoor Enthusiast

Once upon a time, I wore a camouflage T-shirt among a gathering of leftards, and this provoked a reaction. I was lumped into the right wing leaning faction and remained there in their thinking ever since. The ironic thing is that I am not a hunter and have killed nothing larger than a mouse. I am also a libertarian. But the incident sparked my observation that outdoor activities are divided between right wing activities and left wing activities. Here is a breakdown:

APPAREL




The first key difference between left wing and right wing outdoor enthusiasts is in what they wear. Leftards tend to dress colorfully wearing gear from The North Face and Patagonia. Fasctards prefer camo gear from Cabela's and Bass Pro Shops.

VEHICLES



Leftards get into the outdoors with a Prius or a Subaru with a rack on the roof. This is fuel efficient and gentle on Mother Nature. Fasctards treat Mother Nature rough and drive big ass 4WD pick up trucks and SUVs. Now, I have seen the occasional leftard driving a Nissan Pathfinder with a Greenpeace sticker in the back windshield, but these folks are hypocrites.

CAMPING



Leftards prefer tents when they can't stay in a four star hotel that serves tofu on the room service menu. Fasctards prefer motorcoaches and RV's. The latter tend to stay at campgrounds and drink beer and grill dead animal flesh on Coleman camp stoves. FWIW, the fasctards know how to "rough it."

MACHO ACTIVITIES



For the leftard, rock climbing, ice climbing, and mountaineering is where it is at especially if done in the alpine style. For the fasctard, some wild animal must die. Leftards try to live in harmony with nature. Fasctards intend to subdue nature. Leftards bag peaks. Fasctards bag game.

TRAIL




Another key difference between leftards and fasctards is the presence or absence of an internal combustion engine. Leftards prefer self-propulsion and will ride a mountain bike or walk. Fasctards hate walking and peddling. They prefer dirt bikes and four wheelers.

BOATS



The self propulsion paradigm continues with leftards preferring paddled boats like canoes and kayaks to the meaty roar of a fasctard bass boat with an Evinrude on it.

SNOW



Leftards like using snowshoes and snowboards and cross country skiing. Fasctards like to run over the leftards with their snowmobiles.

SURF



Leftards like to surf. Fasctards like to jump waves on the water version of a snowmobile.

FISHING



Leftards who aren't vegetarians and fish use fly fishing techniques and hip waders. Fasctards do bait fishing and fire up the bass boat.

MAGAZINES



Leftards read magazines like Outside with known potheads on the cover. Fasctards prefer Field & Stream.

HEROES



Leftards look up to mountaineer-environmentalists like Conrad Anker. Fasctards admire camo wearing-bowhunting wildman Ted Nugent who has killed more living things than cancer.

People never think about the political divide in the outdoors world, and I admit that I never did. But it exists. Declaring yourself a hunter or a bass fisherman screams Red State Republican to the leftards. Meanwhile, leftards look like sixties hippies that never left the woods. Granted, there is some overlap on these things. There might be a Democrat that owns a gas guzzling boat he likes to take deep sea fishing. And Sarah Palin might own a North Face jacket or two. But, for the most part, how you enjoy the outdoors depends upon your worldview. Are we in harmony with Mother Nature? Or is Mother Nature our bitch? As a libertarian, I don't care much either way. I just wear the camo to piss off the leftards.

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