PRICKS-Larry Ellison

Larry Ellison is an impressive individual. He went from nothing to being currently the fourth richest person according to Forbes. He is the founder and CEO of Oracle Corporation. His hobbies are racing yachts and flying airplanes. He also has a charitable foundation. And he is a colossal prick.

There is much to recommend Larry Ellison for the Heroes category. He is an entrepreneur and a maverick. He has battled Bill Gates. He lives life on his terms. Unfortunately, those terms include being a dickhead and an asshole.

Ellison is rich and lives an extravagant lifestyle. He consumes conspicuously by buying boats, planes, and expensive cars. A joke goes that ORACLE stands for "One Rich Asshole Called Larry Ellison." I'm fine with rich people spending their dough, but I think it is obnoxious when they spend it for the sake of spending it and rubbing other people's noses in it. Ellison qualifies. He quipped once that everyone should buy a yacht like his. Yeah, I'll be sure to do that, Larry.

Larry is also supposed to be an admirer of Ayn Rand, but I think this only goes as far as justifying his wealth. Oracle turns out shit products that are oversold and makes Microsoft products look good. Ellison is also a Democrat and takes advantage of government favors for his business. He has built databases for the CIA and volunteered to build a database for a national ID system. Rand was rolling in her grave. As for charitable donations, Ellison doesn't give them except to settle on charges of insider trading.

The truth is that Larry Ellison is a ruthless, narcissistic, egomaniacal asshole who takes his plays from Machiavelli instead of Atlas Shrugged. Ellison believes in and practices a version of capitalism that is identical to the one that the Bolsheviks envision. Essentially, you have a zero sum game where you are either a winner or a loser. Ellison chooses to be a winner. But he isn't a winner. He is a cocksucker who makes lousy software, fucks over his customers, alienates his workforce, and deserves to have his balls kicked in.

Larry Ellison would be the richest man in the world but being an asshole has put him down a few notches. He has the potential for greatness but fucked himself over into becoming the prick he is now.

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