FRIDAY

1. While people thought I was safe at home, I was flying away on a saucer shaped balloon. Nobody cared.

2. You want to know where the wild things are? I only know the location of one wild thing. RIGHT HERE, BABY!!!

3. They should have a Nobel Pissed Off Prize. This goes to the fucktard that goes that pisses off the most people in the world. Obama will win that one, too, when he raises taxes to pay for socialized medicine, bailouts, two wars, and the maintenance of his ego.

4. Obama is appointing a humility czar. Got a keep that ego in check.

5. Odds are good that Obama will do Dancing with the Stars. Survivor is being saved for his second term. He is the POTUS after all, and he has a lot on his plate.

6. It is sad when Microsoft's new ad slogan for Windows 7 should be "Not as Fucked Up as That Vista Bullshit We Unleashed On You."

7. I have decided to go ultra-minimalist and live in a box. Less really is more. Plus, I can save a ton on rent and utilities. My only problem is deciding where to cut my urination/defecation hole. I wonder if Diogenes had this problem?

8. A gay couple was denied a marriage permit in Louisiana because one was white and the other was black.

9. The problem with the Patch Adams approach to medicine is that there is no humor in a colostomy bag especially when you're the one with the bag.

10. When you quit a job, always shit up the restroom really bad before you leave and don't flush. Leave a lasting impression.

Posted in: