My Grets is Gone

I have lost my girlfriend. We broke up today. It is my fault.

Grets is the best woman I have ever known. She may have her flaws, but I love her all the same. But I am a shithead who realy doesn't deserve her.

My first offense was to invade her privacy where I found some "incriminating" emails suggesting a lover. It was her cousin. I was a total moron on that one. She forgave me.

My second offense was simply to show my ass one night because I felt she was ignoring me. She forgave me again.

My third offense was to slam her in an email as a spendthrift. I do not think she will forgive that one.

This is my mean. I am a fuckhead with a big mouth. I revert to it time and time again. I am melodrama and conflict. I am difficult to tolerate.

Grets is done with me. I have had my last strike called. I can't laugh about this one. It is my destiny to fail in relationships. I have never had a girlfriend longer than six months in my life.

I hurt inside right now. The agony of it is unbearable. Yet, I could have avoided it all if I could learn to speak with tenderness instead of theatrics. I have my crazy mother's genes in me, and I will almost certainly meet the same fate as her. I will alienate the people who love me until no one is left. I am a very lonely man.

I miss my Grets so much. I am so stupid. I can honestly say I love her more than myself but only because I absolutely despise the person that I am. I hate myself. This pain is so unbearable. I have lost someone I love very much. I doubt I will ever be with someone as special as her ever again.

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