I became an uncle this week. It hasn't changed my life a whole lot except I'll have to buy at least one Christmas gift each year now. For my brother Jason, I expect the whole world has changed.
I have a good reason for not having kids myself. I'm selfish. I want to spend all the money I make on me and not braces, school clothes, and college funds. This is all just corollary to my decision to never marry. I want to live like Hugh Hefner. I may not have Hef's money, but thanks to Viagra, I know my golden years will be more golden than I ever imagined.
The cool thing about being an uncle is that you get to spend time with a kid, but you don't have to change diapers, yell at him, or watch as he smashes your car into a tree during a drunken night with his shithead teenage friends. Ahhhhh, the joys of parenthood. . .
The upside of my bachelor lifestyle will be that I'll probably have a fair amount of cash when I croak. This makes Reid Dalton Broadway and his siblings my likely heirs. Hopefully, they'll be well into middle age when they collect.
Congrats to Jason and Amy for bringing a new life into the world.
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