1. It will amaze you the anger that the price of a box of Cheerios can create in one person.
2. Most Republicans are pro-life unless the fetus is Muslim.
3. The CGI Hulk will always suck ass. They should go with the Hanna-Barbera Hulk in the future.
4. I didn't know Barack Obama was a Navy SEAL. I can't wait to see what he does against the Klingons.
5. I think Rupert Murdoch has been hacking my voicemail. I think this is why Judge Napolitano got cancelled.
6. Chris Christie is one fat motherfucker. Of course, this can only mean that I am running out of good jokes.
7. I bet Chris Christie is also a Navy SEAL.
8. Mitt Romney almost became a Navy SEAL, but they kept laughing at his magic Mormon underwear.
9. Hillary Clinton is not a Navy SEAL. But that's because Navy SEALS don't play well with girls.
10. They will make a CGI Mitt Romney Navy SEAL if he ever gets elected, and it will look like he kicks ass.
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