1. I killed Osama bin Laden. Well, actually it was the Navy SEAL that pulled the trigger on the gun that killed OBL. But I loaned the fingernail clipper that trimmed the nail on that trigger finger, so I deserve some kind of credit for that.
2. A rich man begging to be taxed is like a hot chick begging to be raped.
3. Sleep is for losers and the dead. Fuck sleep. Zzzzzzz. . .
4. Newt is officially out. Watch out for bouncing checks.
5. Runners live longer. Unfortunately, they spend all that extra time either running or sleeping.
6. There are too may superhero movies. They need to bring back something cool like the spaghetti western. I think Tarantino is working on that.
7. The problem with a minister becoming an atheist is obvious. It's called getting a job. One of those real jobs where you actually do some work. And not just on Sunday either.
8. Kurt Cobain is dead. Jack White is alive. Fuck Kurt Cobain.
9. Charities used to help. Now, they just lobby the government to help people.
10. I could use some help. The best way to help me is to stop helping me.
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