Character, Luck, and the Mean

There are a lot of movies about choices out there. You know the plot. Some character must choose to go left or right, up or down, this way or that, and you see two paths emerge with the right choice yielding all sorts of good things and the wrong choice yielding all sorts of bad things. I hate these movies. The reason I hate them is because they make everything that happens in your life boil down to a single choice. It is the lottery ticket view of life.

Most lottery winners end up being broke again. This is because the very foolish behavior that leads them to play the lottery is also the same behavior that ends up making them broke. Without a doubt, they were lucky. But that bit of luck is no match for the constant pull of one's character. It is not a single choice that determines your life so much as the choices you make from day-to-day that determine your life. Or as Aristotle put it so well, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit."

When I see some lucky fool like Charlie Sheen end up back in rehab, I see the pull that character has on your life. Sheen's relapse is what I call "reversion to the mean." The fact is that Sheen is a hedonist and an addict. Doing cocaine and hookers is what he loves. Can he stop? He stopped before, but this is his mean. This is the character that he has cultivated.

On the flip side, I have seen people get dealt blows and setbacks repeatedly. Yet, they keep coming back. This is also the function of character. Good luck cannot overcome poor character, and bad luck cannot conquer good character. In fact, the circumstances of your life seem to make very little difference over the long haul. But people don't see the importance of this.

For parents, they spend all their time trying to make sure their kids get into the "right" school. They don't spend nearly as much time cultivating in their children a love for learning. Yet, it is that love for learning that will make a bigger impact in their lives than attending Harvard. Women are the most prone to this "lucky choice" thinking since they have been traditionally reared to make their lives from getting hitched to the right man instead of making their own lives based on their own character and efforts. This is why so many chick flicks revolve around finding the right man. I find this pathetic and sickening.

Character counts, so it behooves you to develop the right character. I think the best character trait you can have is a solid work ethic. Another is frugality. Finally, there is integrity though people get the wrong idea of what integrity means. Integrity means to maintain the same quality throughout like the structural integrity of a building. Similarly, even a crook can have integrity because it means remaining the same today as you were yesterday. We equate integrity with honesty, but what it really means is that people can trust you to a greater or lesser extent based on the fact that you are predictable. People without integrity tend to be people pleasers tailoring their behavior, opinions, or whatnot to their current company. This is called "duplicity" which means "two faced," "double," and "twofold." Having integrity means nothing more than being the same with everyone. The result is that a lot of people will love you almost fanatically while another group will hate you with the same fervor.

The character issues revolve around your viewpoint on the luck thing. Some people believe that success is the product of what you do and who you are. Others believe success is the product of kissing the right ass. This is why some choose integrity while others choose duplicity. I favor integrity though it can be a difficult road sometimes. Relentlessly telling the truth causes a lot of drama, but it is worth it. Being duplicitous is a smoother road, but it ends in ruination.

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