An Open Letter to My Ex-Girlfriend

Dear Miss Fickle Bitch,

I never asked you out. You asked me out. I didn't come on to you. You came on to me. You were the one who started this thing.

You judged me. You decried my cynicism on all things on love and marriage. Then, you told me you were falling in love with me. You told me to trust you. You told me you would never hurt me. Then, you waited until I was out of town, and you dropped me like a piece of trash. FUCK YOU. I am not garbage.

You are the garbage. You are a lying piece of trash. You are a stupid worthless fickle bitch who didn't give a fuck about my feelings whatsoever. Now, I'm supposed to care about your feelings?! I'm supposed to feel guilty? Who dumped who here?

You are a stupid worthless cunt. I never did a thing to you, but I gave you a warning. I told you to go easy on me. That's because I had been hurt before. I don't go around hurting people, but you saw fit to hurt me. You think buying me some clothes and taking me on a trip gave you the right to shit on me later? I can't believe how fucking clueless you are.

I'm tired of getting shit on by bitches like you. How did you describe it? "I'm just not feeling a relationship." God, that is rich. That is so goddamn typical of a shitheaded bitch like you. If I had used a line like that on you, you would call me slime. But I don't say stupid fucking shit like this.

This isn't high school, sweetheart. GROW THE FUCK UP. In the adult world, your actions have consequences. You hurt my feelings without so much as a "pardon me." Now, I'm going to hurt your feelings.

I despise you. I don't know what I ever saw in you. And you had no good reason to dump me whatsoever. You didn't dump me because I cheated on you or mistreated you. My best guess is that you got bored. Nevermind your promises of never hurting me. That is supposed to be forgotten. I'm supposed to "man up" and eat it. FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMN WORTHLESS FUCKING CUNT.

This is the last goddamn time a bitch is going to treat me like this. I wish I could get back with you one last time just so I could have the pleasure of dumping you the way you dumped me--like garbage.

I suspect you dumped me to get with some other guy. Well, I hope he shits all over you because that's what you deserve. I hope he cheats on you and uses you for everything you've got. I hope he crushes your heart and leaves you gasping for air and crying all night long.

You made me love you, and now, you've made me hate you. You've gotten out of this shit you created, but you did not get out clean. And you most certainly will never have the last word with me. Just shut your fucking dicksucker and slink away like the worthless bitch that you are. Cry and suffer. I don't give a fuck about you now, and I never will ever again. Eat that, you bitch.

Sincerely,
Mr. Son of a Bitch

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