My family hates me. This is something I have known for a long time but have never been willing to admit. They really can't stand having me around.
Morally, there's nothing wrong with me. It is not an issue of ethics but aesthetics. I am the oddball of the family, and they simply don't want to be around me. Consequently, I feel alienated around the people who say they love me while I am embraced enthusiastically by a lot of people who get to know me who are actually strangers. This is a bit perplexing.
Like it or not, there's no accounting for taste. For instance, I hate the TV show, Family Guy. I simply can't stand that turd of a program. But I have met quite a lot of people who like it and are very enthusiastic about it. I don't understand the appeal nor does it matter. There is simply no accounting for taste. People like what they like. There are no universal standards of what is funny or beautiful.
This same principle applies to personal relationships. People hate me for the very same reasons that other people like me. Should I feel bad when somebody doesn't like me? No. There's nothing wrong with me. I don't hurt people or take advantage of them. I am simply who I am. Some people like me the way I am. Other people don't.
I must also admit that there are people out there I don't like. But I do have a high tolerance over this stuff. I make a lot of effort to get along with people. I put up with a lot of shit. Consequently, a lot of quirky people come into my life. And the weird thing is that I end up liking them. Other people I don't like and probably never will.
My thesis is this. You shouldn't condemn people simply because of a matter of taste. As long as people don't hurt me or try to run my life for me, I'm cool with them. I may not find them appealling, but I'm not going to allow my personal prejudices determine how I am going to treat that person. I have seen too often where people were marginalized or even fired because of nothing more than a personality clash. This is stupid. What is even stupider is when people use these aesthetic criteria to determine someone's worth as an employee. Or to put it another way, I hate Family Guy, but if I were in charge at Fox, I would still keep broadcasting it because it is a moneymaker. The same should apply to people.
This also ties in with my dislike of Oprah Winfrey. People can't understand my almost pathological hatred for that bitch, and I have been unable to really describe my reasons for this hatred. That's because as a person she really is pretty decent. I just don't like her. It's just my taste. She and I would not get along.
As for the people in my life, I genuinely like a lot of people. The people I don't like are a minority. Where I work at, there is only one person I really would say that I don't like, but we still worked well together. He just isn't a person I would go to a ballgame with. But I wouldn't hesitate to promote him if I were his boss.
This brings me full circle to my family. Basically, I love my family (extended and all), and I like them. I like being around them. They just don't like being around me. I don't know why this is. I am reminded of that verse from the Bible about a prophet not being without honor except in his hometown and among his family. I have lived long enough to know that your worst enemies are your own family members.
I have decided to no longer "inflict" myself on my family. It's not my fault that they don't like me. I can't change this. I am who I am, and if they don't like me this way, that's tough shit. I'm not changing. And I'm instituting a new personal rule as well. Like those who like me back. Life is too short to go around trying to appeal to people who don't give a damn about you or for you while overlooking the ones who like you for who you are.
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